Funny(ish) newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ..

SCALES OF JUSTICE
A robber who lost 6st faces seven more charges after cops revisited unsolved raids pulled by a fat man in Linz, Austria.

TIPPING POINT
A 24-year-old waiter who did 112 hours' overtime each month died of a heart attack in Kyoto, Japan.

SEX EDUCATION
A teacher accidentally gave pupils a porn film instead of a school DVD in Homosassa, Florida.

Paper talk

My football gift to you .. all the transfer talk and rumour from today's newspapers.

Spartak Moscow are eyeing £6m summer swoop for Celtic winger Aiden McGeady. (Various)

London-based developer Andrew Ellis has admitted for the first time that there are other investors involved in his consortium's bid to buy Rangers. (the Herald)

Former Leeds United chairman Chris Akers is hoping to gather investors from the Arab state of Qatar in a bid to take over Rangers. (Daily Mail)

Portsmouth say manager Avram Grant, who has been linked with Celtic and is a friend of Hearts owner Vladimir Romanov, has received an offer from a top Scottish club. (Daily Express)

Portsmouth administrator Andrew Andronikou says Avram Grant will remain in English football despite offers to manage Scottish, Dutch and Italian clubs. (Daily Mail)

Fulham forward Diomasny Kamara could be poised to reject a summer switch to Celtic in favour of a move to boyhood heroes Paris St Germain. (Various)

Nancy left-back Jean Calve says Celtic can sign him for nothing despite the French club offering him to the Glasgow outfit for £600,000. (Various)

Blackpool will target Rangers' Kirk Broadfoot and Dundee United's Garry Kenneth to strengthen their defence should they win promotion to England's top flight. (Daily Express)

Blackpool manager Ian Holloway says he might be forced to sell Scottish midfielder Charlie Adam if their side fail to beat Cardiff City in Saturday's Premier League promotion play-off final. (the Sun)

Michael Stewart has completed his move to Turkish club Genclerbiligi after his contract ended with Hearts. (Various)

Scotland striker Steven Fletcher will not be asking for a transfer despite Burnley being relegated to the Championship and interest from Premier League clubs in England. (Daily Record)

Rochdale manager Keith Hill has accused defender Rory McArdle of greed because he signed for Aberdeen as they would have received compensation if he had joined another English club. (Various)

Alex McLeish has begun talks to sign a new three-year contract to keep him manager of Birmingham City. (Daily Record)

Midfielder Stephen O'Donnell wants to stay with St Mirren but does not know if they will offer him a new contract. (the Sun)

Dunfermline Athletic want to sign St Mirren's Chris Smith, who previously spent a spell on loan at East End Park. (Daily Express)

Dundee, Hamilton and St Johnstone are interested in out-of-contract St Mirren defender Jack Ross. (Daily Express)

James Wesolowski is lining up a move to Peterborough United, Hamilton having long since given up hope of signing the on-loan Leicester midfielder. (Daily Express)

Motherwell's Stephen Craigan will captain Northern Ireland when they play Turkey and Chile next week as Aaron Hughes and Maik Taylor are being rested. (Daily Record)

Stirling Albion's Allan Moore has verbally agreed to become Morton manager and expects the move to be completed next week. (Various)

John O'Neill and Roddy Grant are poised to manager Stirling Albion when Allan Moore switches to Morton next week. (Various)

Thanks to BBC Scotland.