The Editor got a cracking aways coupon up last week to win 200 bucks ... had West Ham won it would have been a further 500 notes from a £1 acca. Tossers.
Here's hoping it was just the start of a winning run. Today I'm on ..
Homes - Huddersfield, Sheff Utd, Burnley, Dundee and Falkirk
Aways - Charlton, Cardiff, Sheff Wed and MK Dons
Acca - Hull, Bury, Charlton and Gillingham.
Yup, I've made the schoolboy error of sticking Charlton on two lines so stick your mortgage on Walsall:-)
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Thursday, 15 September 2011
Funny newspaper stories
Funny newspaper stories and funny newspaper headlines from today's papers ..
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
Jealous wives have launched a petition against a blonde barmaid, claiming she's too sexy to serve their husbands in Cadelbosco di Spora, Italy.
CRIME WATCH
A thief who swallowed a British tourist's £10,000 diamond watch was nicked after he was X-rayed in Marbella, Spain.
BUTT HEAD
Hunter Boris Adamski shot himself dead trying to finish off a raccoon with the butt of his rifle in Chelyabinsk, Russia.
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
Jealous wives have launched a petition against a blonde barmaid, claiming she's too sexy to serve their husbands in Cadelbosco di Spora, Italy.
CRIME WATCH
A thief who swallowed a British tourist's £10,000 diamond watch was nicked after he was X-rayed in Marbella, Spain.
BUTT HEAD
Hunter Boris Adamski shot himself dead trying to finish off a raccoon with the butt of his rifle in Chelyabinsk, Russia.
Wednesday, 14 September 2011
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
I actually got a coupon up on Saturday. Honestly, I did. A four-fold as well. 4 homes it was with Blackpool, Southampton, Morton and Cowdenbeath all producing the goods.
Clearly I'm on a roll so a Champions League 4-folds it is tonight. My money's on Man Utd, Man City, Basel and Inter Milan.
Clearly I'm on a roll so a Champions League 4-folds it is tonight. My money's on Man Utd, Man City, Basel and Inter Milan.
Newspaper headlines
What's makingthenews today? All the newspaper headlines and football gossip from today's newspapers ...
Celtic stars Scott Brown and Anthony Stokes will miss the club's Europa League trip to Atletico Madrid through injury.
The Sun
Bolton have reportedly flown in right-back Stefano Magnasco to train with them for two weeks. They hope to agree a deal to sign him from Chile's Universidad Catolica in January - but face opposition from Germany's Bayer Leverkusen.
Daily Mirror
Arsenal target Marvin Martin has signed a new deal with French side Sochaux, but revealed he has an end of season get-out clause, which could finally pave his move to the Gunners.
Metro
Real Madrid forward Cristiano Ronaldo has refused to rule out a move to big-spending Russian side Anzhi Makhachkala in the future.
Stoke have dropped defender Jonathan Woodgate from their Europa League squad because they fear long-haul trips to Ukraine, Israel and Turkey will aggravate his injury problems.
Daily Mirror
Liverpool's director of football Damien Comolli has hit back at Raul Meireles, claiming the club were forced to sell because he did not want to play for them - just like Fernando Torres.
Metro
Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson has billed his top scorer Wayne Rooney as "the white Pele."
All round
Celtic stars Scott Brown and Anthony Stokes will miss the club's Europa League trip to Atletico Madrid through injury.
The Sun
Bolton have reportedly flown in right-back Stefano Magnasco to train with them for two weeks. They hope to agree a deal to sign him from Chile's Universidad Catolica in January - but face opposition from Germany's Bayer Leverkusen.
Daily Mirror
Arsenal target Marvin Martin has signed a new deal with French side Sochaux, but revealed he has an end of season get-out clause, which could finally pave his move to the Gunners.
Metro
Real Madrid forward Cristiano Ronaldo has refused to rule out a move to big-spending Russian side Anzhi Makhachkala in the future.
Stoke have dropped defender Jonathan Woodgate from their Europa League squad because they fear long-haul trips to Ukraine, Israel and Turkey will aggravate his injury problems.
Daily Mirror
Liverpool's director of football Damien Comolli has hit back at Raul Meireles, claiming the club were forced to sell because he did not want to play for them - just like Fernando Torres.
Metro
Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson has billed his top scorer Wayne Rooney as "the white Pele."
All round
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ..
HARDSTORE PORN
Shoppers were shocked when a big TV showing a celeb chef cooking turned to a XXX film after the store's wi-fi was hacked in Hungary.
PRACTICAL CROAK
A hunter shot dead his prankster son-in-law, 26, when he pretended to be a wild boar among trees in Tyumen, Siberia.
WELL HUNG
Drivers called cops to report a ghostly bride hovering over a busy junction - but it turned out to be a sex doll in a wedding dress hung out by jokers in Siberia.
HARDSTORE PORN
Shoppers were shocked when a big TV showing a celeb chef cooking turned to a XXX film after the store's wi-fi was hacked in Hungary.
PRACTICAL CROAK
A hunter shot dead his prankster son-in-law, 26, when he pretended to be a wild boar among trees in Tyumen, Siberia.
WELL HUNG
Drivers called cops to report a ghostly bride hovering over a busy junction - but it turned out to be a sex doll in a wedding dress hung out by jokers in Siberia.
Wednesday, 17 August 2011
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
After Saturday's near-miss I hit the bar again last night ... this time Copenhagen let me down after victories for Middlesbrough, Sheffield United and Crystal Palace, all of whom had to come from behind to win.
Fortunately, as with Saturday, I permed any three from four to ensure I made a slight profit. Hopefully, I can go one better tonight.
I'm going to give the Champions League play offs a miss and go for 4 home wins in the notoriously difficult to predict Championship (ach it's only a fiver)
So, I'm on Cardiff, Leicester, Millwall and Blackpool - again, any 3 from 4.
'Sign' for your team and make it front page news with a personalised newspaper gift from ScoopSport.
Fortunately, as with Saturday, I permed any three from four to ensure I made a slight profit. Hopefully, I can go one better tonight.
I'm going to give the Champions League play offs a miss and go for 4 home wins in the notoriously difficult to predict Championship (ach it's only a fiver)
So, I'm on Cardiff, Leicester, Millwall and Blackpool - again, any 3 from 4.
'Sign' for your team and make it front page news with a personalised newspaper gift from ScoopSport.
Tuesday, 16 August 2011
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
I thought I had learned my lesson last season but obviously not. Yup, I'm one of those mugs who insists on backing Arsenal.
They were 4-0 up at Newcastle last term and still couldn't win so why did I have it in my head that they would get an away victory on Saturday night? God only knows but sure enough they let me down and with it went my fiver treble (Wolves and Brighton did the business earlier in the day).
I wish the Gunners well tonight but I won't be putting a penny on them. It would seem there is no such thing as an Arsenal gift.
So my Champions League bet for the night is Copenhagen at home to Viktoria Plzen. In the Championship I fancy Boro away to Barnsley and Palace at home to Coventry, and in league one I'm going for Sheffield United.
Any 3 from 4 will ensure a payout.
They were 4-0 up at Newcastle last term and still couldn't win so why did I have it in my head that they would get an away victory on Saturday night? God only knows but sure enough they let me down and with it went my fiver treble (Wolves and Brighton did the business earlier in the day).
I wish the Gunners well tonight but I won't be putting a penny on them. It would seem there is no such thing as an Arsenal gift.
So my Champions League bet for the night is Copenhagen at home to Viktoria Plzen. In the Championship I fancy Boro away to Barnsley and Palace at home to Coventry, and in league one I'm going for Sheffield United.
Any 3 from 4 will ensure a payout.
Monday, 15 August 2011
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...
GOTEM CITY
Items found on the street and handed over to police stations over a year include a Batman costume, a dinghy and four packets of biscuits, Surrey cops revealed.
WE ARE NOTE WORTHY
Locals in the Western Isles were left out of pocket after binning 'dud' bank notes that were said to be fake - which then turned out to be real.
DASH N CARRY
Personal trainer John Fortey, 31, set a record by jogging 5k in three hours - while carrying two men weighing 160kg on a yoke in Colchester.
To star on the front page of a spoof newspaper for just £9.99 visit Scooped!
All our personalised newspaper gifts are written and designed by real journalists.
GOTEM CITY
Items found on the street and handed over to police stations over a year include a Batman costume, a dinghy and four packets of biscuits, Surrey cops revealed.
WE ARE NOTE WORTHY
Locals in the Western Isles were left out of pocket after binning 'dud' bank notes that were said to be fake - which then turned out to be real.
DASH N CARRY
Personal trainer John Fortey, 31, set a record by jogging 5k in three hours - while carrying two men weighing 160kg on a yoke in Colchester.
To star on the front page of a spoof newspaper for just £9.99 visit Scooped!
All our personalised newspaper gifts are written and designed by real journalists.
Friday, 12 August 2011
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from the tabloids ..
ONE ON THE OVEN
The average kitchen during the eight years a family has it sees 26,280 meals - and seven sex romps, a new study reveals.
I'LL BE BACCY
Terminator actor Arnie Schwarzenegger has been fined £175 for smoking cigars at airports in his Austrian homeland.
I SUE
Jilted Masran Rahman is suing his former fiancee for £220,000 after she dumped him six hours before their wedding in Malaysia.
To star on the front page of a spoof newspaper for just £9.99 visit Scooped!
All our personalised newspapers are written and designed by real journalists.
ONE ON THE OVEN
The average kitchen during the eight years a family has it sees 26,280 meals - and seven sex romps, a new study reveals.
I'LL BE BACCY
Terminator actor Arnie Schwarzenegger has been fined £175 for smoking cigars at airports in his Austrian homeland.
I SUE
Jilted Masran Rahman is suing his former fiancee for £220,000 after she dumped him six hours before their wedding in Malaysia.
To star on the front page of a spoof newspaper for just £9.99 visit Scooped!
All our personalised newspapers are written and designed by real journalists.
Saturday, 29 May 2010
Funny(ish) newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ..
SCALES OF JUSTICE
A robber who lost 6st faces seven more charges after cops revisited unsolved raids pulled by a fat man in Linz, Austria.
TIPPING POINT
A 24-year-old waiter who did 112 hours' overtime each month died of a heart attack in Kyoto, Japan.
SEX EDUCATION
A teacher accidentally gave pupils a porn film instead of a school DVD in Homosassa, Florida.
SCALES OF JUSTICE
A robber who lost 6st faces seven more charges after cops revisited unsolved raids pulled by a fat man in Linz, Austria.
TIPPING POINT
A 24-year-old waiter who did 112 hours' overtime each month died of a heart attack in Kyoto, Japan.
SEX EDUCATION
A teacher accidentally gave pupils a porn film instead of a school DVD in Homosassa, Florida.
Saturday, 22 May 2010
Paper talk
My football gift to you .. all the transfer talk and rumour from today's newspapers.Spartak Moscow are eyeing £6m summer swoop for Celtic winger Aiden McGeady. (Various)
London-based developer Andrew Ellis has admitted for the first time that there are other investors involved in his consortium's bid to buy Rangers. (the Herald)
Former Leeds United chairman Chris Akers is hoping to gather investors from the Arab state of Qatar in a bid to take over Rangers. (Daily Mail)
Portsmouth say manager Avram Grant, who has been linked with Celtic and is a friend of Hearts owner Vladimir Romanov, has received an offer from a top Scottish club. (Daily Express)
Portsmouth administrator Andrew Andronikou says Avram Grant will remain in English football despite offers to manage Scottish, Dutch and Italian clubs. (Daily Mail)
Fulham forward Diomasny Kamara could be poised to reject a summer switch to Celtic in favour of a move to boyhood heroes Paris St Germain. (Various)
Nancy left-back Jean Calve says Celtic can sign him for nothing despite the French club offering him to the Glasgow outfit for £600,000. (Various)
Blackpool will target Rangers' Kirk Broadfoot and Dundee United's Garry Kenneth to strengthen their defence should they win promotion to England's top flight. (Daily Express)
Blackpool manager Ian Holloway says he might be forced to sell Scottish midfielder Charlie Adam if their side fail to beat Cardiff City in Saturday's Premier League promotion play-off final. (the Sun)
Michael Stewart has completed his move to Turkish club Genclerbiligi after his contract ended with Hearts. (Various)
Scotland striker Steven Fletcher will not be asking for a transfer despite Burnley being relegated to the Championship and interest from Premier League clubs in England. (Daily Record)
Rochdale manager Keith Hill has accused defender Rory McArdle of greed because he signed for Aberdeen as they would have received compensation if he had joined another English club. (Various)
Alex McLeish has begun talks to sign a new three-year contract to keep him manager of Birmingham City. (Daily Record)
Midfielder Stephen O'Donnell wants to stay with St Mirren but does not know if they will offer him a new contract. (the Sun)
Dunfermline Athletic want to sign St Mirren's Chris Smith, who previously spent a spell on loan at East End Park. (Daily Express)
Dundee, Hamilton and St Johnstone are interested in out-of-contract St Mirren defender Jack Ross. (Daily Express)
James Wesolowski is lining up a move to Peterborough United, Hamilton having long since given up hope of signing the on-loan Leicester midfielder. (Daily Express)
Motherwell's Stephen Craigan will captain Northern Ireland when they play Turkey and Chile next week as Aaron Hughes and Maik Taylor are being rested. (Daily Record)
Stirling Albion's Allan Moore has verbally agreed to become Morton manager and expects the move to be completed next week. (Various)
John O'Neill and Roddy Grant are poised to manager Stirling Albion when Allan Moore switches to Morton next week. (Various)
Thanks to BBC Scotland.
Saturday, 27 February 2010
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ..
ALBERT SQUARES
Pub quizzes are more likely to be won by celebrity and TV soap fans than people with high IQs, a survey found.
SALT & VINEGARGH
Firemen freed a woman whose arm got stuck in a vending machine as she bought crisps in Croydon, South London.
FIGHT FOR CRUSTICE
A fast-food boss has put up 100 pizzas as a reward to catch a robber who held up one of his shops in Washington, US.
ALBERT SQUARES
Pub quizzes are more likely to be won by celebrity and TV soap fans than people with high IQs, a survey found.
SALT & VINEGARGH
Firemen freed a woman whose arm got stuck in a vending machine as she bought crisps in Croydon, South London.
FIGHT FOR CRUSTICE
A fast-food boss has put up 100 pizzas as a reward to catch a robber who held up one of his shops in Washington, US.
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
I'm going for five homes and five aways ..
Homes: Brighton, Bradford, Alloa, Northampton, Southampton (any 4 from 5)
Aways: Dunfermline, Accrington, Norwich, Rochdale, East Stirling (4 from 5)
All up for a small fortune and a great Saturday night!
Homes: Brighton, Bradford, Alloa, Northampton, Southampton (any 4 from 5)
Aways: Dunfermline, Accrington, Norwich, Rochdale, East Stirling (4 from 5)
All up for a small fortune and a great Saturday night!
Saturday, 13 February 2010
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ..
NO SPANK YOU
A charity shop boss has issued a plea to kind-hearted fetishists to stop handing in whips, chains and edible g-strings in Fort William, Inverness-shire.
MIAOW THEN
A cat whose miaow sounds like Jimmy Savile catchphrase 'Now then, now then'has gone missing in Romford, Essex.
RASH BEHAVIOUR
Kids with eczema are more likely to have mental or behaviour problems later in life, scientists in Munich found.
NO SPANK YOU
A charity shop boss has issued a plea to kind-hearted fetishists to stop handing in whips, chains and edible g-strings in Fort William, Inverness-shire.
MIAOW THEN
A cat whose miaow sounds like Jimmy Savile catchphrase 'Now then, now then'has gone missing in Romford, Essex.
RASH BEHAVIOUR
Kids with eczema are more likely to have mental or behaviour problems later in life, scientists in Munich found.
Great newspaper headlines
The Sun comes up trumps once again as they report on two gangsters who, on their way to kill a rival with a home-made bomb, accidentally blew themselves up in Adelaide, Australia.
The headline ....
GANG BANG
The headline ....
GANG BANG
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
I've gone for 5 homes, 5 aways, 3 draws and a long-shot single.
Homes: Barnsley, Boro, Coventry, Alloa and Peterhead.
Aways: Forest, Accrington, Norwich, Colchester and Leeds.
Draws: Hamilton, Hearts, Kilmarnock
Long-shot: Grimsby at 7/2
Homes: Barnsley, Boro, Coventry, Alloa and Peterhead.
Aways: Forest, Accrington, Norwich, Colchester and Leeds.
Draws: Hamilton, Hearts, Kilmarnock
Long-shot: Grimsby at 7/2
Monday, 1 February 2010
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ..
WILLY GET OFF?
A sex attack suspect will be measured after a victim claimed that he had a nine-inch manhood in Dusseldorf, Germany.
ARMED CROOK
Prisoner Elijah Armstrong was beaten up by another lag usinga prosthetic arm at a jail in Monroe, New York.
CHOO ARE BUSTED
A train fan who passed himself off as a driver for months was rumbled as colleagues in Hungary noticed he was too happy.
WILLY GET OFF?
A sex attack suspect will be measured after a victim claimed that he had a nine-inch manhood in Dusseldorf, Germany.
ARMED CROOK
Prisoner Elijah Armstrong was beaten up by another lag usinga prosthetic arm at a jail in Monroe, New York.
CHOO ARE BUSTED
A train fan who passed himself off as a driver for months was rumbled as colleagues in Hungary noticed he was too happy.
Thursday, 28 January 2010
Headline of the day
Nudists fear being overlooked now 131 new flats look set to be built next to a naturist beach in Portsmouth, Hants.
And the headline is ...
EYEFUL TOWER
And the headline is ...
EYEFUL TOWER
Saturday, 23 January 2010
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ..
BARMAD
Barmaid Sylvia Mutzel, 30, of Munich is suing a German brewer for using her photo in ads worldwide without asking.
AFFAIR COPPED
A wife who texted her husband she had been kidnapped in Bratislava, Slovakia, was found by cops with her lover in a hotel.
ABSOLUT IDIOT
Actor Marc Schulze, 36, collapsed on stage after downing real vodka while playing a drunk in Frankfurt, Germany.
BARMAD
Barmaid Sylvia Mutzel, 30, of Munich is suing a German brewer for using her photo in ads worldwide without asking.
AFFAIR COPPED
A wife who texted her husband she had been kidnapped in Bratislava, Slovakia, was found by cops with her lover in a hotel.
ABSOLUT IDIOT
Actor Marc Schulze, 36, collapsed on stage after downing real vodka while playing a drunk in Frankfurt, Germany.
Paper talk
My football gift to you .. a round-up of all football rumours from today's newspapers.
Celtic manager Tony Mowbray is considering a loan move for £8m-rated Aston Villa central defender Curtis Davies. The Hoops will pay £1.8m for Brondby striker Morten Rasmusssen. (The Sun)
The Parkhead side have resisted a fresh attempt by Gordon Strachan to lure Scott McDonald to Middlesbrough, saying their top scorer is not for sale. (Daily Record)
Manchester United have joined Tottenham in the race for £18m-rated Toulouse midfielder Moussa Sissoko - as they prepare to let winger Zoran Tosic join Cologne. (Daily Mail)
Wayne Rooney is being linked with a move to Real Madrid, who have hired super-agent Pini Zahavi to negotiate a deal for the striker. (The Sun)
Manchester City have had a £2m bid for Victor Moses turned down. (Daily Star)
Robinho is set to return close to Brazilian club Santos in a loan deal until the end of the season. (The Sun)
Blackburn are keen to sign Barcelona forward Eidur Gudjohnsen on loan and are also interested in Stuttgart's Turkish midfielder Yildiray Basturk. (Daily Mail)
West Ham are set to sign South Africa striker Benni McCarthy from Blackburn Rovers on loan for 18 months to get around work permit issues. (Daily Mirror)
Celtic manager Tony Mowbray is considering a loan move for £8m-rated Aston Villa central defender Curtis Davies. The Hoops will pay £1.8m for Brondby striker Morten Rasmusssen. (The Sun)
The Parkhead side have resisted a fresh attempt by Gordon Strachan to lure Scott McDonald to Middlesbrough, saying their top scorer is not for sale. (Daily Record)
Manchester United have joined Tottenham in the race for £18m-rated Toulouse midfielder Moussa Sissoko - as they prepare to let winger Zoran Tosic join Cologne. (Daily Mail)
Wayne Rooney is being linked with a move to Real Madrid, who have hired super-agent Pini Zahavi to negotiate a deal for the striker. (The Sun)
Manchester City have had a £2m bid for Victor Moses turned down. (Daily Star)
Robinho is set to return close to Brazilian club Santos in a loan deal until the end of the season. (The Sun)
Blackburn are keen to sign Barcelona forward Eidur Gudjohnsen on loan and are also interested in Stuttgart's Turkish midfielder Yildiray Basturk. (Daily Mail)
West Ham are set to sign South Africa striker Benni McCarthy from Blackburn Rovers on loan for 18 months to get around work permit issues. (Daily Mirror)
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