Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ..
SAMUEL L JACKSIES
Actor Samuel L Jackson fled a hair salon in Kent - after girl fans mooned at him through the window.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Ting Lin, 33, broke her back while fighting her husband for the TV remote in Harbinn, northern China.
REPEATS ON TV
Thief Gerald Hayes, 28, told cops he stole TVs to pay a fine from the last time he pinched the set in Gainesville, Florida.
Saturday 24 October 2009
Great Newspaper Headlines #7
After Nazi Nick Griffin's car-crash performance on Question Time on Thursday even BNP activists turned on him, prompting this headline from The Sun ..
DOWNFALL
Very clever!
DOWNFALL
Very clever!
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
After my midweek success, I've decided to go radio rental with one bold prediction after another. If they all come off I'll win a cool £1,600 ....... so yeh, I've got no chance!
My five homes are Cowdenbeath, Burnley, Rochdale, Norwich and Hearts.
My four aways (and this is where I become really adventurous) are Arbroath, Cardiff, Sunderland and QPR.
I've also stuck a fiver on Hibs to beat Rangers.
My five homes are Cowdenbeath, Burnley, Rochdale, Norwich and Hearts.
My four aways (and this is where I become really adventurous) are Arbroath, Cardiff, Sunderland and QPR.
I've also stuck a fiver on Hibs to beat Rangers.
Paper talk
My football gift to you .. a round-up of all football rumours from today's newspapers.
Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard has emerged as a £30m target for Real Madrid next summer. (The Sun)
Tottenham are battling it out with Inter Milan for 18-year-old Ghanaian full-back Gladson Awako. (Daily Mirror)
Gordon Strachan will target Celtic defender Gary Caldwell when the former Parkhead manager is confirmed as Middlesbrough boss on Monday. (The Sun)
Chelsea are ready to embark on a £60m spending spree in January if Fifa suspends the transfer ban imposed on them, with Inter Milan's Patrick Vieira, Benfica winger Angel di Maria, Valencia's David Villa and Aston Villa's Emile Heskey all being considered. (Daily Express)
Roma's Daniele de Rossi, Atletico Madrid striker Sergio Aguero and Manchester City talisman Robinho could also be on Chelsea's shopping list in January with the Blues losing key men to the African Cup of Nations. (The Sun)
Arsenal and AC Milan have joined the race to sign West Ham's Swiss utility man Valon Behrami. (Daily Star)
Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard has emerged as a £30m target for Real Madrid next summer. (The Sun)
Tottenham are battling it out with Inter Milan for 18-year-old Ghanaian full-back Gladson Awako. (Daily Mirror)
Gordon Strachan will target Celtic defender Gary Caldwell when the former Parkhead manager is confirmed as Middlesbrough boss on Monday. (The Sun)
Chelsea are ready to embark on a £60m spending spree in January if Fifa suspends the transfer ban imposed on them, with Inter Milan's Patrick Vieira, Benfica winger Angel di Maria, Valencia's David Villa and Aston Villa's Emile Heskey all being considered. (Daily Express)
Roma's Daniele de Rossi, Atletico Madrid striker Sergio Aguero and Manchester City talisman Robinho could also be on Chelsea's shopping list in January with the Blues losing key men to the African Cup of Nations. (The Sun)
Arsenal and AC Milan have joined the race to sign West Ham's Swiss utility man Valon Behrami. (Daily Star)
Wednesday 21 October 2009
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ..
SEEDIER CITIZEN
Randy Zhang Zhing, 75, has left wife Wang, 75, for a 50-year-old - the 24th time he has strayed in Nanchang, China.
MONEY TALKS
British parents fork out £377million a year paying their teenage children's phone bills, a Tesco Mobile survey has found.
HOT PANTS
An arsonist fled in his underpants after his jeans caught fire at a sports ground in Whitnash, Warwickshire.
SEEDIER CITIZEN
Randy Zhang Zhing, 75, has left wife Wang, 75, for a 50-year-old - the 24th time he has strayed in Nanchang, China.
MONEY TALKS
British parents fork out £377million a year paying their teenage children's phone bills, a Tesco Mobile survey has found.
HOT PANTS
An arsonist fled in his underpants after his jeans caught fire at a sports ground in Whitnash, Warwickshire.
Great Newspaper Headlines #6
Rangers gave away 1,000 tickets to British soldiers for last night's Champions League game against Romanian minnows Unirea Urziceni - then suffered their worst ever European defeat.
The headline in The Sun ...
F*!$ this foer a game of soldiers
The headline in The Sun ...
F*!$ this foer a game of soldiers
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
The Editor had a great night last night ...
Unirea Urziceni to beat Rangers at 4/1 got the ball rolling then 6-fold on Blackpool, Bristol City, Cardiff, Notts Forest, QPR and Olympiakos came home to make it a night to remember.
Tonight I'm on Berbatov first and last scorer in Moscow at 11/2 and Bayern/FC Zurich double at tasty 11/1.
Think I might be underestimating French football ..
Unirea Urziceni to beat Rangers at 4/1 got the ball rolling then 6-fold on Blackpool, Bristol City, Cardiff, Notts Forest, QPR and Olympiakos came home to make it a night to remember.
Tonight I'm on Berbatov first and last scorer in Moscow at 11/2 and Bayern/FC Zurich double at tasty 11/1.
Think I might be underestimating French football ..
Saturday 17 October 2009
Great Newspaper Headlines #5
Perhaps less Great Newspaper Headline and more Naughty Newspaper headline!
The editors at teamtalk.com obviously like a laugh as they reported Everton manager David Moyes' interest in Stade Rennes defender Rod Fanni with the headline ..
TOFFEES BOSS SNIFFING OUT FANNI DEAL
Anyone fancing a crack at an alternative headline?
The editors at teamtalk.com obviously like a laugh as they reported Everton manager David Moyes' interest in Stade Rennes defender Rod Fanni with the headline ..
TOFFEES BOSS SNIFFING OUT FANNI DEAL
Anyone fancing a crack at an alternative headline?
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...
CLEAN GETAWAY
Crooks stole 200 Sebo vacuum cleaners worth £54,000 from a lorry in High Wycombe, Bucks.
TO AD AND TO HOLD
Priest Michael Brierley is trying to attract more weddings to his church by issuing fliers at a bridal fair in Tavistock, Devon.
SCAN I FIT IN?
Scientists have spent £4million creating body scanning technology so women can buy clothes online that fit perfectly.
CLEAN GETAWAY
Crooks stole 200 Sebo vacuum cleaners worth £54,000 from a lorry in High Wycombe, Bucks.
TO AD AND TO HOLD
Priest Michael Brierley is trying to attract more weddings to his church by issuing fliers at a bridal fair in Tavistock, Devon.
SCAN I FIT IN?
Scientists have spent £4million creating body scanning technology so women can buy clothes online that fit perfectly.
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
Twenty minutes to go at games around the country .. and it looks like Mr Bookie is getting the upper hand.
I've got three trebles and a 6-fold on and not particularly confident on any line.
Any five from six on Partick, Clyde (losing 3-0 boooo!) Albion Rovers, Livingston, Blackpool, Forfar
Spurs, Colchester, Queen of South
Dundee Utd, Hibs, St Mirren
Everton, Boro, Bristol City
Need lots and lots of late goals ... don't think it's going to be my day.
I've got three trebles and a 6-fold on and not particularly confident on any line.
Any five from six on Partick, Clyde (losing 3-0 boooo!) Albion Rovers, Livingston, Blackpool, Forfar
Spurs, Colchester, Queen of South
Dundee Utd, Hibs, St Mirren
Everton, Boro, Bristol City
Need lots and lots of late goals ... don't think it's going to be my day.
Saturday 10 October 2009
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids .. courtesy of The Sun.
POO PACKET
Volunteers are being offered shopping vouchers worth £1.95 in return for every kilo of dog poo they picked up from fouled streets in Taichun, Taiwan.
LOST SOLE
One-legged Linda Quigley, 35, was given a conditional discharge for stealing a single trainer from a shop in Blackpool.
GIRL HEAVEN
Gay tourism chiefs are urging women to visit Alice Springs in Australia - the country's lesbian capital - with the slogan Alice Is Wonderland.
POO PACKET
Volunteers are being offered shopping vouchers worth £1.95 in return for every kilo of dog poo they picked up from fouled streets in Taichun, Taiwan.
LOST SOLE
One-legged Linda Quigley, 35, was given a conditional discharge for stealing a single trainer from a shop in Blackpool.
GIRL HEAVEN
Gay tourism chiefs are urging women to visit Alice Springs in Australia - the country's lesbian capital - with the slogan Alice Is Wonderland.
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
Big international week and a full card in the lower leagues in Scotland and England.
So here's how I'm going to lose money this week ....
In World Cup qualifiers I'm going for Serbia, England, Finland and Czech Republic.
Four homes, I'm on Cowdenbeath, Annan, Bradford and Stirling.
Three aways, it's Norwich, Colchester and Raith.
So here's how I'm going to lose money this week ....
In World Cup qualifiers I'm going for Serbia, England, Finland and Czech Republic.
Four homes, I'm on Cowdenbeath, Annan, Bradford and Stirling.
Three aways, it's Norwich, Colchester and Raith.
Paper talk
My football gift to you .. a round-up of all football rumours from today's newspapers.
Manchester City are prepared to pay up to £65m to sign France winger Franck Ribery from Bayern Munich in January. (The Sun)
City are also tracking Atletico Mineiro's £7m striker Diego Tardelli. (Mirror)
Manchester United look set to step up their interest in Russia goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev, with CSKA Moscow indicating they are prepared to let United speak to the £10m-rater stopper in the January transfer window. (The Sun)
United have revived their attempt to sign Valencia's £35m-rated striker David Villa. (Daily Mail)
West Ham manager Gianfranco Zola faces a battle with Napoli to sign Bayern Munich striker Luca Toni. (Mirror)
Blackburn midfielder David Dunn is being offered a lucrative move to Dubai club Al-Nasr when his contract at Ewood Park expires in the summer, although the 29-year-old's early-season form has also alerted several European clubs. (Daily Mail)
Non-league Woking are lining up an ambitious move for former Chelsea and Leeds United striker Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink. (The Sun)
Manchester City are prepared to pay up to £65m to sign France winger Franck Ribery from Bayern Munich in January. (The Sun)
City are also tracking Atletico Mineiro's £7m striker Diego Tardelli. (Mirror)
Manchester United look set to step up their interest in Russia goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev, with CSKA Moscow indicating they are prepared to let United speak to the £10m-rater stopper in the January transfer window. (The Sun)
United have revived their attempt to sign Valencia's £35m-rated striker David Villa. (Daily Mail)
West Ham manager Gianfranco Zola faces a battle with Napoli to sign Bayern Munich striker Luca Toni. (Mirror)
Blackburn midfielder David Dunn is being offered a lucrative move to Dubai club Al-Nasr when his contract at Ewood Park expires in the summer, although the 29-year-old's early-season form has also alerted several European clubs. (Daily Mail)
Non-league Woking are lining up an ambitious move for former Chelsea and Leeds United striker Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink. (The Sun)
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