Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ..

SAMUEL L JACKSIES
Actor Samuel L Jackson fled a hair salon in Kent - after girl fans mooned at him through the window.

COMMERCIAL BREAK
Ting Lin, 33, broke her back while fighting her husband for the TV remote in Harbinn, northern China.

REPEATS ON TV
Thief Gerald Hayes, 28, told cops he stole TVs to pay a fine from the last time he pinched the set in Gainesville, Florida.

Great Newspaper Headlines #7

After Nazi Nick Griffin's car-crash performance on Question Time on Thursday even BNP activists turned on him, prompting this headline from The Sun ..

DOWNFALL

Very clever!

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

After my midweek success, I've decided to go radio rental with one bold prediction after another. If they all come off I'll win a cool £1,600 ....... so yeh, I've got no chance!

My five homes are Cowdenbeath, Burnley, Rochdale, Norwich and Hearts.

My four aways (and this is where I become really adventurous) are Arbroath, Cardiff, Sunderland and QPR.

I've also stuck a fiver on Hibs to beat Rangers.

Paper talk

My football gift to you .. a round-up of all football rumours from today's newspapers.

Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard has emerged as a £30m target for Real Madrid next summer. (The Sun)

Tottenham are battling it out with Inter Milan for 18-year-old Ghanaian full-back Gladson Awako. (Daily Mirror)

Gordon Strachan will target Celtic defender Gary Caldwell when the former Parkhead manager is confirmed as Middlesbrough boss on Monday. (The Sun)

Chelsea are ready to embark on a £60m spending spree in January if Fifa suspends the transfer ban imposed on them, with Inter Milan's Patrick Vieira, Benfica winger Angel di Maria, Valencia's David Villa and Aston Villa's Emile Heskey all being considered. (Daily Express)

Roma's Daniele de Rossi, Atletico Madrid striker Sergio Aguero and Manchester City talisman Robinho could also be on Chelsea's shopping list in January with the Blues losing key men to the African Cup of Nations. (The Sun)

Arsenal and AC Milan have joined the race to sign West Ham's Swiss utility man Valon Behrami. (Daily Star)

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ..

SEEDIER CITIZEN
Randy Zhang Zhing, 75, has left wife Wang, 75, for a 50-year-old - the 24th time he has strayed in Nanchang, China.

MONEY TALKS
British parents fork out £377million a year paying their teenage children's phone bills, a Tesco Mobile survey has found.

HOT PANTS
An arsonist fled in his underpants after his jeans caught fire at a sports ground in Whitnash, Warwickshire.

Great Newspaper Headlines #6

Rangers gave away 1,000 tickets to British soldiers for last night's Champions League game against Romanian minnows Unirea Urziceni - then suffered their worst ever European defeat.

The headline in The Sun ...

F*!$ this foer a game of soldiers

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

The Editor had a great night last night ...

Unirea Urziceni to beat Rangers at 4/1 got the ball rolling then 6-fold on Blackpool, Bristol City, Cardiff, Notts Forest, QPR and Olympiakos came home to make it a night to remember.

Tonight I'm on Berbatov first and last scorer in Moscow at 11/2 and Bayern/FC Zurich double at tasty 11/1.

Think I might be underestimating French football ..

Great Newspaper Headlines #5

Perhaps less Great Newspaper Headline and more Naughty Newspaper headline!

The editors at teamtalk.com obviously like a laugh as they reported Everton manager David Moyes' interest in Stade Rennes defender Rod Fanni with the headline ..

TOFFEES BOSS SNIFFING OUT FANNI DEAL

Anyone fancing a crack at an alternative headline?

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

CLEAN GETAWAY
Crooks stole 200 Sebo vacuum cleaners worth £54,000 from a lorry in High Wycombe, Bucks.

TO AD AND TO HOLD
Priest Michael Brierley is trying to attract more weddings to his church by issuing fliers at a bridal fair in Tavistock, Devon.

SCAN I FIT IN?
Scientists have spent £4million creating body scanning technology so women can buy clothes online that fit perfectly.

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

Twenty minutes to go at games around the country .. and it looks like Mr Bookie is getting the upper hand.

I've got three trebles and a 6-fold on and not particularly confident on any line.

Any five from six on Partick, Clyde (losing 3-0 boooo!) Albion Rovers, Livingston, Blackpool, Forfar

Spurs, Colchester, Queen of South

Dundee Utd, Hibs, St Mirren

Everton, Boro, Bristol City

Need lots and lots of late goals ... don't think it's going to be my day.

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids .. courtesy of The Sun.

POO PACKET
Volunteers are being offered shopping vouchers worth £1.95 in return for every kilo of dog poo they picked up from fouled streets in Taichun, Taiwan.

LOST SOLE
One-legged Linda Quigley, 35, was given a conditional discharge for stealing a single trainer from a shop in Blackpool.

GIRL HEAVEN
Gay tourism chiefs are urging women to visit Alice Springs in Australia - the country's lesbian capital - with the slogan Alice Is Wonderland.

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

Big international week and a full card in the lower leagues in Scotland and England.

So here's how I'm going to lose money this week ....

In World Cup qualifiers I'm going for Serbia, England, Finland and Czech Republic.

Four homes, I'm on Cowdenbeath, Annan, Bradford and Stirling.

Three aways, it's Norwich, Colchester and Raith.

Paper talk

My football gift to you .. a round-up of all football rumours from today's newspapers.

Manchester City are prepared to pay up to £65m to sign France winger Franck Ribery from Bayern Munich in January. (The Sun)

City are also tracking Atletico Mineiro's £7m striker Diego Tardelli. (Mirror)

Manchester United look set to step up their interest in Russia goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev, with CSKA Moscow indicating they are prepared to let United speak to the £10m-rater stopper in the January transfer window. (The Sun)

United have revived their attempt to sign Valencia's £35m-rated striker David Villa. (Daily Mail)

West Ham manager Gianfranco Zola faces a battle with Napoli to sign Bayern Munich striker Luca Toni. (Mirror)

Blackburn midfielder David Dunn is being offered a lucrative move to Dubai club Al-Nasr when his contract at Ewood Park expires in the summer, although the 29-year-old's early-season form has also alerted several European clubs. (Daily Mail)

Non-league Woking are lining up an ambitious move for former Chelsea and Leeds United striker Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink. (The Sun)

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

DIRTY TRUCKER
A German trucker, 30, was charged after crashing his lorry in Sweden while high on drugs and looking at a porn mag.

WEDDING DANCE
A couple will wed in a lap-dancing club in Basildon, Essex, after visiting a fetish night there.

DIRTY DOZEN
Brits hear swearing a dozen times an hour in a typical day - and most find it unacceptable, a survey reveals.

Great Newspaper Headlines #4

Day four of our Great Newspaper Headlines feature where I bring you brilliant newspaper headlines and at the end of the year pick my favourite.

I swear I read this cracker in the Sunday Herald ...

Swearing on TV. Does Anyone Give a *!!@?
The BBC is banning the broadcasting of bad language before 10pm.

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

It's super Saturday and I'm up for the fight with Mr Bookie again today.

I'm going with The Sun's Tot Tips and stuck a tenner on West Brom, Chelsea and Colchester at 7/2.

Having got seven homes up last week I hope to repeat the trick today and I'm backing .. Spurs, Bristol Rovers, Charlton, Dag & Red, Hearts, Berwick and Livi (any 6 from 7)

My three away's this week are Villa, Sheff Utd and Kilmarnock.

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

WASHED OUT
Mums do 38 TONS of washing in a lifetime, the same weight as four double-decker buses, a study has revealed.

SHED LOADS
Dopey council bosses blew £100,000 trying to find a new name for the M Shed industrial museum in Bristol - and ended up sticking with the original one.

DRUG PUSHERS
A gang used airline food trolleys to smuggle cocaine worth £1million into Australia's Sydney airport.

Great Newspaper Headline #3

Day three of our Great Newspaper Headlines feature where I bring you brilliant newspaper headlines and at the end of the year pick my favourite.This bonnie beauty appears in today's Scottish Sun ..

JINGS, CRIVVENS .. HELP MA BOD!
Legendary Scots comic strip character Maw Broown has a new book out revealing her famous family's beauty secrets.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

I'm on something resembling a roll, folks .. I'm actually taking some money off Mr Bookie.

On Saturday I got seven homes up - Arsenal, Villa, Newcastle, Preston, Leeds, Southampton, Ross County at 16/1.

And yesterday I had Hearts ft/celtic ft at 28/1.

I also got three homes up - Man U, Everton and Chelsea for a small return after perming 3 from 4 - I fancied Wolves to draw at home with Fulham but not to be.

Aw well, I'll make do with being £140 up this weekend.

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

TOO LONG, JOHN
One in four British men are still wearing the same underpants they bought 15 years ago, a poll shows.

LAGS ON THE RUNS
At least 370 inmates and dozens of prison officers have gone down with diarrhoea at Wandsworth jail, London.

OUT OF CONTROL
Brits spend one month of their lives looking for a remote control, a study has revealed.

Newsaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

The Editor has had a very decent start to the season and has taken a few bob off Mr Bookie .. particular success has come from the Europa League qualifiers (got 10 homes a few weeks back) and backing Jermaine Defoe and Wayne Rooney for first and last scorers.

Oh, and I had Scott Brown first scorer for Scotland against Macedonia and Robbie Keane last scorer for Ireland against Cyprus same night.

So I'm hoping my luckyish streak can continue tonight as the Champions League kicks off.

Rubbish odds across the board so I'm going for all the big hitters to come away with wins tonight .... Man U, Chelsea, Real Madrid, Juventus, Bayern, Atletico Madrid and Wolfsburg.

The Championship is murder to predict with every team capable of beating every other on their day .. but it doesn't stop me trying.

I'm on Derby, Leicester, Preston and West Brom.

I'll also chance my luck and go for 3 draws - Marseilles, Ipswich and Swansea.

Wish me luck!

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

HARD DRINKER
Wacky Juergen Hopf claims his beer works like Viagra after stirring it naked at his brewery in Schoenbrunn, Germany.

THE X-RATED FILES
One in five women has had a sexual encounter with an alien, Russian scientist Sergey Speranskiy claims.

HEAVEN & HELL'S ANGEL
Tattooed church minister John Lloyd, 67, of Cambuslang, Glasgow, has quit the pulpit to join a motorcyle gang and tour the country on his Harley Davidson.

Paper talk

My football gift to you .. a round-up of all football rumours from today's newspapers.

Lionel Messi is set to sign a £170,000-a-week deal (after tax) to stay at Barcelona until 2016. (Daily Mail)

Celtic are to scout Japan and Tokyo full-back Yuto Nagatomo on the recommendation of former Parkhead midfielder Shunsuke Nakamura. (Daily Express)

West Brom want to sign Fulham striker Diomansy Kamara on loan. (The Sun)

Everton are keeping tabs on Bristol City full-back James Wilson, who is currently on loan at Brentford. (Daily Mirror)

Fulham could also be set to lose Sweden international defender Fredrik Stoor, who is hoping to secure a loan move from the club. (The Sun)

Bolton centre-back Danny Shittu is set to move to Sheffield United on loan, with a view to a permanent switch. (Daily Mirror)

Preston are keen on Stockport striker Carl Baker. (The Sun)

Great Newspaper Headlines

Day two of our Great Newspaper Headlines feature where I bring you brilliant newspaper headlines and at the end of the year pick my favourite.

This little beauty appeared in the Scottish Sun ..

THE SASH MY FEATHER WORE
A PARROT has sparked an unholy war - because it belts out controversial Protestant anthem The Sash.
Pet bird Rio learned to whistle the song, which includes the line The Sash My Father Wore, from listening to Rangers fan owner Linda Gillies.

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

BURGLAARRRS
HMS Bounty - a ship featured in The Pirates of the Caribbean films - docked in Greenock, Renfrewshire at the weekend and was ROBBED by brazen burglars.

FISH PINGERS
Microwaveable fish fingers are being launched by Young's.

FLOWER POWER
Experts are "around five years" from making tyres and other rubber goods from DANDELION juice in Aachen, Germany.

Paper Talk

My football gift to you .. a round-up of all football rumours from today's newspapers.

Celtic set to tempt Spurs with £7m offer for Robbie Keane (The Mirror)

Chelsea have agreed in principle to sign 17-year-old Croatian goalkeeper Matej Delac from Inter Zapresic for about £2m. However, unless the Blues win an appeal over their transfers ban, they will not be able to sign him until January 2011. (Daily Mail)

Wigan striker Marlon King has been linked with a loan move to Championship side Sheffield United (Daily Mirror)

Former Rangers defender Michael Ball is being targeted by Notts County director of football Sven-Goran Eriksson. The 29-year-old is currently without a club.

Preston defender Sean St Ledger will be recruited to help strengthen Middlesbrough's rearguard in a £3m deal. (Daily Mirror)

Roy Keane's Ipswich are hoping to agree a loan deal for Bolton's Nigerian defender Danny Shittu. (Daily Mail)

Newspaper Headline of the Year

It has been a while boys and girls .. but The Editor is back with his usual shenanigans.

A new feature will be Great Newspaper Headlines, where I bring you brilliant newspaper headlines and at the end of the year pick my favourite.

This headline might not go down too well with the PC brigade but is brilliant nonetheless ...

BT PHONE HOMO
BT has been named the most 'gay friendly' company in the world, according to the International Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

GUILTY PLEASURE
Jobless Terry Thurling, 27, was jailed for four months for stealing eight vibrators from a sex shop in Canterbury, Kent.

SEX EDUCATION
A teacher accidentally beamed porn on a screen seen by kids of eight at posh Pennthorpe School in Rudgwick, West Sussex.

THANK BRUNO
New comic film Bruno, starring Sacha Baron Cohen as a gay Austrian Tv presenter, has led to a 120 per cent rise in inquiries by Brits for hotels in the country.

GRAVE STONED
Junkies are harvesting opium from poppies growing in a church garden in Waterloo, south London.

Funny newspaper stories

Funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ....

RUST INCASE
Car stickers depicting rust to deter thieves have been developed by Dominic Wilcox, 34, in Hackney, London.

LOVE YOU TWO
One in five adults is in love with someone other than their partner - and one in six of them will have an affair, a study says.

ORGAN GRINDER
An erotic theme park featuring giant sex organs is being demolished before it opens after protests in Chongqing, China.

HARD LINES
Fake Viagra pills containing road paint and printer ink were found on sale in Whistable, Kent.

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

I don't normally touch horse racing unless it's a special occasion but decided to have a wee flutter on tonight's racing at Leicester and Towcester.

I hope The Sun's tipsters are on form because I'm backing their tips. I'm on ...

6.10 Leicester: State Fair

6.30 Towcester: Moymore

7.10 Leicester: Bellomi

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ....

PEED OFF
Two male workers were sacked after they were filmed PEEING into the famous Old Faithful geyser at Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming, US.

JOBLESS GET A RISE
Viagra firm Pfizer is to give a year's supply of the sex drug free to workers who have been laid off in America.

GET MIAOWT
Fat cat Salih, who went missing for ten days, was found stuck in a wall cavity in Downton, Wilts.

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

My football bets for today ...

*Fulham (plus 1 goal), Spurs, Liverpool

*Cowdenbeath, Falkirk, Kilmarnnock, Everton - any 3 from 4.

*Airdrie, Queen's Park, Ayr United

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ..

RUBBISH SEX
A couple were charged with having sex in a rubbish skip in Saanich, British Columbia, Canada.

FIRE BUG
A man set his house ablaze trying to kill a spider with a cigarette lighter in Paulsgrove, Hants.

FIRST CLASSSSSSS
A postie was bitten by a snake as he collected letters in Brean Cove, Somerset.

Paper talk

My football gift to you .. a round-up of all football rumours from today's newspapers.

Manchester City have held talks with Barcelona about signing Samuel Eto'o for a fee of about £40m.

Liverpool boss Rafael Benitez admits he may have to sell some of his current squad to fund his summer transfer kitty. The Spaniard is eyeing Valencia duo David Silva and Raul Albiol, as well as Aston Villa's Gareth Barry.

Middlesbrough's record £12m signing Afonso Alves will join Benfica in the summer, even if the Teesiders escape relegation.

Tottenham midfielder Didier Zokora says he is ready to quit the club after losing his first-team place. Team-mates David Bentley, Tom Huddlestone, Gareth Bale and Jermaine Jenas also face uncertain futures at White Hart Lane.

Tottenham and Manchester City are among a number of clubs heading the list for Blackburn's Paraguay striker Roque Santa Cruz. (Guardian)

AC Milan owner Silvio Burlusconi says he is unsure whether Carlo Ancelotti will be at the San Siro next season, fuelling speculation the Rossoneri coach will join Chelsea in the summer.

Former Tottenham manager Martin Jol, now in charge of German side Hamburg, is favourite to succeed Jurgen Klinsmann, who was sacked as Bayern Munich manager on Tuesday.

Klinsmann's availability could interest Manchester City should the club decide to sack current manager Mark Hughes.

Manchester United winger Nani faces an uncertain future at Old Trafford following his second-half substitution in the 5-2 victory over Tottenham. The Portugal international has yet to complete 90 minutes in six Premier League starts this season. (Independent)

Manchester City defender Richard Dunne has outlined his commitment to stay at Eastlands, despite interest from Sunderland. (Daily Star)

Birmingham City and Newcastle are set to fight it out over £4m Rangers defender Madjid Bougherra.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

YOUR SINBOX
Text speak like 'LOL' (laugh out loud) in email topped a poll of pet hates by Yahoo users.

VICE PRESIDENT
A hooker charging £125 a time in Romania turned out to be the Social Democrat Party's stunning youth leader Lavina Samuila, 23.

ALL BEDS ARE OFF
An auction of 18-year-old Alina Percea's virginity ended £40,000 short at £10,050 in Stuttgart.

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

Another Saturday, another trip to Mr Bookie.

I'm going for four homes, four aways and a £1 accy.

Homes: Everton, Doncaster, Tranmere, Dumbarton
Aways: Burnley, St Johnstone, Cowdenbeath, East Stirling

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

A few interesting games on tonight but I'm not touching Liverpool/Arsenal. Anything could happen there and I'd say the Gunners represent good value at 3/1.

Instead I'm focusing on the lower leagues and going for four aways - Barnsley, Cardiff, Scunthorpe and Wycombe.

Any 3 from 4, all up for 60 quid.

Come on!

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

SMALL FORTUNE
A bizarre three-bedroom house which measures just 8ft wide but 35ft from front to back has been put on sale for £110,000 in Brecon, mid-Wales.

RETURN TO SPENDER
Elvis Presley's first disc My Happiness - recorded in 1953 when he was 18 - is to be sold by its Florida owner for £1million.

LION BARRED
An escaped lioness terrified high street shoppers for 30 minutes before returning to her safari park in Romania.

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ..

TEAM SPIRIT
Struggling Premiership team Hull City are to have their ground "blessed" by a psychic in a bid to avoid relegation.

SITTY CAT
Shocked Vickie Mendenhall heard noises from her sofa - and found the previous owner's cat inside in Spokane, US.

DEAD BUSY
Shop boss Stella Mansfield, 64, put a COFFIN in her store with a sign saying "Who said business is dead?" - to show her business is doing well in Romford, Essex.

Scoop 6 and other dodgy bets

Not long to go in the early kick offs ... I'm on Man Utd to win and Aldershot/Luton and Hibs/Hearts to draw.

Not looking good!

In the 3pm kick offs I'm on ..

Peterboro, Southend, Hartlepool and Bury - any 3 from 4
Partick Thistle, Dundee, Queens Park and East Stirling - any 3 from 4.

Scoop 6 and other dodgy bets

An indifferent day at Cheltenham for The Editor .... Cooldire winning at 7/2 and Well Chief coming second at 14/1 e/w was as good as it got.

Still gives me a few pennies to play with tomorrow.

Tonight I'm on Man U, Arsenal and Porto for Champions League glory.

Scoop 6 and other dodgy bets

A good first day at Cheltenham for The Editor .. I was on four races and got two winners and a 50/1 placed.

My winning bets were Somersby (third) and Garde Champetre (win) and Quavega.

A story of so near yet so far in last night's football. I had Chelsea to draw and Vilarreal to win but also had Liverpool to draw but they romped it so had to settle for two out of three. Still I doubled my money.

Not so lucky on the domestic coupon. I had Rotherham to hammer Chester which they did but Sheffield Wednesday lost a last minute goal and Dunfermline got a doing at Livi so not to be.

I'll be back later with today's bets.

Put your mum on front page of Daily Mail for FREE!

AS you know, The Editor loves good freebie with his morning newspaper .. and it doesn't get much better than this.

You can put your mum on the front page of the Daily Mail for FREE.

What a brilliant personalised gift for Mother's Day.

You can name her MOTHER OF THE YEAR or the BEST MUM IN BRITAIN and put her on the front page of her favourite newspaper.

You can order online at http://www.makingthenews.co.uk/dailymail where it will take just 60 seconds to design your very own personalised newspaper.

All you need to supply is your mum's name, age, where she lives and a picture and that’s it, you have made her a front page star.

At the checkout, enter the code SCOOPMAIL to get your personalised newspaper gift for free. A £2.49 postage and packaging charge applies.

Have fun!

Scoop 6 and other dodgy bets

My football bets for today ..

Everton, Bournemouth, Barnet and Lincoln.
MK Dons, Caley, Partick Thistle and Peterboro
3 draws .. Dunfermline, Forest and Charlton.

Make Your Mum A Front Page Star

LOOKING for a different Mother's Day gift this year?

Then check this out from our friends at Scooped!

You can Scoop your mum this Mother's Day (geddit?) - by putting her on the front page of a spoof tabloid newspaper or fake celebrity magazine.

Here you can name your mum MOTHER OF THE YEAR or THE BEST MUM IN THE UK.

Just over two weeks to go .. so get in fast!

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ..

SCREW YOU
Three in four women told a poll they do their own DIY and a third say they're better than men.

FILM STAR
Postmistress Tracy Major chased off a robber by hitting him with a roll of clingfilm in Hull.

FOOD FIGHT
Fed-up Raj Kumar, 34, wants a divorce after his wife refused to cook him a single meal in their one-year marriage, leaving him to live on takeaways in New Delhi, India.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

OLD RAGE PENSIONERS
Two love rivals aged 74 and 86 beat each other with walking sticks in a row over a woman of 75 in Gramada, Bulgaria.

WHY AM I MEER?
Stunned nurse Jackie Morgan woke to find a MEERKAT standing outside her window in Mynydd Isa, North Wales.

CHIME FOR BED
Vicar Mervyn Roberts will sleep in a church bell tower for the 40 days of Lent in Bishops Tachbrook, Warwickshire.

SMOKED OUT
Scrounger Alan Jones, 32, has got an Asbo banning him from hassling strangers for cigarettes in East Ham, East London.

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

My football bets for today are ...

Hull, West Ham, Scunthorpe, Leicester, Tranmere - any four from five, all up for 100 notes.
Doncaster, Aberdeen, Brentford, Dundee Utd - any three from four, all up for 50 pounds sterling.
A cheeky wee £1 accy on all of the above would pay out a grand total of 500 big ones.

C'mon, I'm due a wee win.

The Editor on Sun Online

The Editor has written a first person piece for Sun Online about the social network site twitter

Read the full article here

TENNIS ace Andy Murray is the latest Scots star to sign up to web phenomenon Twitter.

He joins the likes of music guru Calvin Harris and comic Hardeep Singh Kohli — not to mention Stephen Fry and Britney Spears — on the social networking site.

Former Scottish Sun man JAMES McIVOR — who now runs Scooped! Spoof Newspapers — is a self-confessed Twitter addict.

Here he explains just what all the fuss is about.

---

I JOINED Twitter at the same time as I was signing up to loads of other social network sites — MySpace, Bebo and Facebook to name just three.

All these sites served their purpose of helping to promote my business but, for me, Twitter has raced ahead of the game.

Its strength is its simplicity — anyone can use Twitter without having to use fancy applications, although they are still available for the geeks.

Around 1,000 people follow my tweets each day and Twitter allows me to inform them of our new spoof newspaper front pages, or ask their advice on new ideas.

The easiest way to build up a following is to follow followers of followers, if you follow me.

But it’s not all about business, it’s great being able to share ideas with people of various different backgrounds, share newspaper or blog articles or just find out how people are passing their day.

Since I signed up, the number of people using Twitter has increased by 1,000 per cent — there are now 35million users — so it has become a very powerful site.

Twitter scooped the world with the first picture of the Hudson River plane crash.

Celebs are now getting into Twitter — as you only have 140 characters to play with, they can let their fans know what they’re doing very easily.

I like that I can scan Twitter and if anything grabs my attention I’ll go straight to that page. It’s a quick way to keep up with the news.

Earlier this month I launched The All Tweet Journal, an online Twitter newspaper that will allow people who use Twitter regularly to share their news.

It’s early days but the feedback has been great so far and the plan is to go from a weekly newspaper to a daily.

So if you’re not already on Twitter, twit are you waiting for?

You can follow James at @makingthenews and @alltweetjournal or visit his websites makingthenews.co.uk and thealltweetjournal.com.

Newspapers on twitter

National newspapers are going crazy for celebs who use twitter.

Now, as The Sun reports this morning, they have a brilliant new website that is doing all the hard work for them.

Showbiz hacks have thus far been wary of embracing twitter for fear that the 'stars' are fakes.

But Valebrity.com - the brainchild of OpenID.ORG founder Steven Livingstone - makes sure the celebs are who they say they are and the site is already proving a great source of stories for journos.

You can follow Valebrity on twitter at @valebrity

Funny Newspaper Headline

The greedy bankers who brought the British economy to its knees were given a grilling by MPs yesterday.

Almost every UK newspaper today features the grovelling apologies by former RBS bosses Fred Goodwin and Tom McKillop and their HBOS counterparts.

But none captured the mood of the nation quite like The Sun this morning with their headline SCUMBAG MILLIONAIRE.

Brilliant.

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

EX-PENSIVE
Judges ruled a hubby must pay his ex £250-a-month alimony - after a seven day marriage with no sex in Bologna, Italy.

RIGHT VAIN MAN
Blokes now take as long as women to get ready for a night out - with the average man taking 1hr 44mins to pick and iron their clothes and shower and style their hair. Women take just 19 mins longer, the survey reveals.

POUND SIGNS
A set of railway station signs from the old Aberdeen to Peterhead line - which were bought for £3 - fetched over £17,5000 at an auction in Stafford.

More twitter in The Sun

Former Sun man James McIvor is a self-confessed twitter addict. He joined early last year primarily to promote his company Scooped! Spoof Newspapers but has since launched the world's first online twitter newspaper, The All Tweet Journal. You can follow James at @makingthenews and @alltweetjournal or visit his websites www.makingthenews.co.uk or thealltweetjournal.com

Here is his take on twitter ...

I JOINED twitter at the same time as I was signing up to loads of other social network sites - myspace, bebo and Facebook to name just three.

All these sites served their purpose of helping to promote my business but, for me at least, twitter has raced ahead of the game.Its great strength is its simplicity - anyone can use twitter without having to work out how to use fancy applications, although they are available for the geeks.

Around 1,000 people follow my tweets each day and twitter allows me to inform them of our new spoof newspaper front pages, offer Valentine's Day discounts or ask their advice on new ideas.

The easiest way to build up a following is to follow followers of followers, if you follow me. But it's not all about business, it's great being able to share ideas with people of all different backgrounds, share newspaper or blog articles or just find out how people are passing their day.

Since I signed up the number of people using twitter has increased by 1000% and I read the other day there are now 35million users so it has become a very powerful site.

Twitter scooped the world with the first picture of the Hudson River plane crash - the pic was on twitter within a few moments and I replied to the original tweet to say it was a spoof.

A couple of hours later it was on the BBC News at 10.Celebs are now getting into twitter, presumably because - as you only have 140 characters to play with - they can let their fans know what they're doing very easily and very quickly.

Jonathan Ross announced on twitter that he was hosting the Baftas and the next day every national newspaper ran the story.

I like that I can scan twitter - there are 20 tweets per page - and if anything grabs my attention I'll go straight to that page. It saves the hassle of visiting all your favourite sites - if you follow the right people they do it for you - and it is a very quick and immediate way to keep up to speed with the news.

Earlier this month I launched The All Tweet Journal, an online twitter newspaper that will allow people who use twitter regularly to share their news with a wider audience. I have taken the twitter format and put it onto a regular looking newspaper.

It's early days but the feedback has been great so far and the plan is to go from a weekly newspaper to a daily.

If you are only interested in following your favourite celeb then before signing up to twitter first of all visit valebrity.com to check that it really is them - there a plenty of fakes out there.

So, if you are not already on twitter, twit are you waiting for?

The Sun's Guide to twitter

A good article from today's Sun .. 20 things you need to know about twitter

1. Twitter is a social networking site that allows users to micro-blog for free in real-time

2. Posts - called tweets - can be no more than 140 characters long.

3. You can 'follow' other twitterers' tweets and they can follow yours.

4. Your username is @nameofyourchoice and you can have your own picture

5. You can use twitter from your PC or your mobile phone

6. You can post about anything you like .. a link to your own or favourite website or blog, about what you're doing at work, how you're favourite sports team are doing (you can tweet direct from the game) where you're going that night, when you're playing your next gig - or, simply, what you had for dinner. It is also useful for asking your followers a question and, often, getting a prompt response.

7. Posts - both yours and your followers' - are displayed on your profile page like a micro-blog, allowing you to scan over each page and spread news very quickly.

8. You can follow a number of celebrities on twitter including @britneyspears @andymurray @wossy (Jonathan Ross) and @coldplay

9. The twitterer with the most followers is @barackobama who at the last count had more than 250,000

10. @stephenfry is at No3 with almost 200,000 followers

11. @stephenfry tweeted from 'The Green Room' moments before he appeared on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross last month.

12. twitter scooped the world with the Hudson River jet crash - a picture of the plane was posted on twitter within minutes of it crashing and was later used on BBC News.

13. twitterers can get their daily diet of news from twitter with @bbc @skynews and @cnn all regularly updating

14. An estimated 35million people use twitter worldwide

15. twitter - founded by Silicon Valley entrepreneurs Jack Dorsey, Biz Stone, and Evan Williams - does not allow advertising on the site and has not made a single penny but last year turned down a £350million bid from Facebook.

16. There are now hundreds of twitter applications which allow users to share photos, videos or files or just find people more easily.

17. There is now a dedicated online twitter newspaper called thealltweetjournal.com

18. There is a website dedicated to validating celebrities on twitter called valebrity.com

19. On February 12 more than 175 cities around the world - including Glasgow and Edinburgh - will be hosting Twestivals which bring together Twitter communities for an evening of fun and to raise money and awareness for charity: water.

20. twitter is not all good though ... @russellbrand has joined.

Make your love story front page news - 25% off at Scooped!

Check this out for a brilliant Valentine's Day offer ... 25% off everything for the month of February.
Just enter the code LOVESCOOP at the checkout to get 25% discount.
Love it!

New online newspaper for twitter users

The Editor is part of the team that today launched a new online newspaper for twitter users all over the world.
the all tweet journal will be published at http://thealltweetjournal.wordpress.com once a week.
It will start as a single front page but if there is sufficient demand we will increase the size of the newspaper or publish it daily.
If you use twitter, our news desk want you to tell us the big news in your life or business and we will publish the best stories.
You may have landed a big contract, developed new software, launched a new website or product . . . or something big may be happening in your personal life that you would like to share with your fellow twitterers.
Send your breaking news and pictures to scooped@makingthenews or DM @makingthenews on twitter and you could make it on to the front page of the all tweet journal

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

ICE COLD BRRRRRRRRR
A reveller who passed out on a station bench in Forth, Germany, awoke frozen to the seat in -17C temperatures.

CUT OFF
Barber Alan Moore, 61, is hanging up his scissors and retiring in Portsmouth after doing 400,000 haircuts in 45 years.

BRIGHT FUTURE
Lamp cleaner David Neale, 34, of Lydney, Glos, is celebrating after winning £200,000 in the Euromillions draw.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..

My football gift to you ..

The best football transfer rumours from today's newspapers ..

Everton are waiting to take Jermaine Pennant from arch-rivals Liverpool on a free transfer in the summer. (Daily Mirror)

Manchester City have won their battle with Tottenham to sign Craig Bellamy from West Ham. City will pay up to £15m, almost twice the fee the Hammers paid for Bellamy 18 months ago. (Various)

Inter Milan are interested in signing Jermaine Jenas, who has decided he has no future at Spurs (but see below). (Daily Mail)

Wigan want to bring Reading winger Stephen Hunt to the club for £5m, but will come up against Spurs, who are also keen. (Daily Mirror)

Arsenal hope to sign Russian striker Andrei Arshavin by the end of the week in a deal worth up to £14m. (Various)

Middlesbrough are keen to ship out Egyptian striker Mido and replace him with Aston Villa's Marlon Harewood. (Daily Mirror)

Portsmouth are battling Palmeiras for Villarreal defender Edmilson. (Daily Mail)

Celtic will run the rule over left-back Stephan Kling, who is currently with Austrian side SCR Altach. (Daily Mail)

Motherwell are set to sign Inverness goalkeeper Michael Fraser on a pre-contract agreement. (Scottish Sun)

St Mirren playmaker Andy Dorman will reject a host of English clubs to concentrate on the SPL. (Daily Record)

Newspaper gift

And there's more ..

The Daily Mail has a great giveaway too ... a free Oliver DVD.

Please sir, can we have more.

Newspaper gift

Looks like I spoke to soon on Friday when I forecast the end of decent free giveaways in national newspapers.

The News of the World launched a brilliant new promotion on Sunday ... the entire first and second series of Life On Mars for NOWT!

I missed both when they were on the telly and was considering buying the first series. Now I don't have to so well done to the News of the Screws.

I have a funny feeling one or two regional daily titles will also be running not-to-be-missed promotions ahead of Valentine's Day.

Watch this space ..

Funny newspaper stories - American Special

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

BUY GEORGE
Bush Shoes, rebranded by their Turkish makers after a pair were lobbed at President George Bush by an Iraqi are fetching £190 on eBay. They sell for £28 in Turkey.

IDOL THREAT
Bosses of TV's American Idol are suing a lapdancing club which runs a Stripper Idol contest in Austin, Texas.

ALL PRESIDENT'S PEN
Barack Obama wrote to daughters Sasha, seven, and Malia, ten, apologising for "time apart" in his presidential campaign.

UNDIE COVER
Beach bathers are set to be banned from wearing thongs and G-strings after complaints in Florida's Gulf coast resorts.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..

Paper talk

The best football transfer rumours from today's newspapers ..

Despite reports to the contrary from the Middle East, Manchester City boss Mark Hughes insists the Kaka deal could still go ahead. (Press Association, 1005 GMT)

Robinho is unsettled in Manchester after becoming alarmed by City's poor results and he has started to question manager Mark Hughes' methods. (The Guardian)

Chelsea defender John Terry has emerged as another audacious target for City in the January transfer window. (Daily Star)

Manchester United are planning a £14m bid for Wigan midfielder Wilson Palacios after the Latics rejected a £10m offer from Tottenham for the Honduras star. (The Sun)

Chelsea will sell striker Didier Drogba in the summer and are confident of signing Seville's Luis Fabiano to replace him. (Daily Star)

West Ham have rejected a new bid for Wales striker Craig Bellamy from Manchester City and have also turned down the offer of a straight swap for Darren Bent from Tottenham. (The Independent)

Spurs are set to make a £14m offer for Sunderland striker Kenwyne Jones after their move for Inter Milan forward Adriano was scuppered by the Brazilian's wage demands. (Daily Express)

Celtic's hopes of signing Hungary winger Szabolcs Huszti have been hit after his German club Hannover 96 announced they would be opening talks with him over a new contract. (Daily Record)

Liverpool are set to send scouts to watch St Johnstone's teenage right-back Paul Hanlon. (The Guardian)

Croatia boss Slaven Bilic has urged Celtic to pay the £3m for NK Rijeka midfielder Anas Sharbini because his true market value is £15m. (Scottish Daily Express)

Hearts are set to make an official approach to Motherwell to speak to goal ace Chris Porter in the next 24 hours. (Scottish Daily Express)

Birmingham City are banking on a creative financial package breaking the deadlock in their pursuit of Rangers striker Kris Boyd. The championship club will increase the basic wage on offer to lure the SPL's top scorer away from Glasgow. (Daily Mail)

Newspaper gifts

The Editor loves a freebie with his morning paper but things are getting pretty desperate in newspaper land.

Not long ago every national newspaper was cutting each other's throats with free CDs, free DVDS, free lunch at Greggs or whatever.

Those days are long gone unfortunately. It is no secret that the giveaways were costing each title a small fortune and the joke used to be that the day would come when you got a free newspaper when you bought a CD.

With the credit crunch in full flow, advertising revenue down across the board and job cuts affecting just about every title it was inevitable that freebies would be the first to go with newspaper focusing on promoting their content rather than what they can give away.

It was with all that in mind that I went in pursuit of find the best freebie giveaway with today's newspapers and it came down to this ...
A free 'The Way We Live Now' DVD with the Daily Mail .. or
A free 'Strawberry Collection' with the Telegraph.

Times are tough!