Personalised Valentine's Day Gifts

A wee exclusive from The Editor ...

Guest blogger Scooped! regularly brings you examples of his brilliant personalised newspaper front pages.

Scooped! produce fake newspapers for every occasion - and they also design brilliant personalised magazine front covers.

Here is the first public airing of a personalised Valentine's Day newspaper. It is in the style of a middle market paper - a first for Scooped! It really is the perfect personalised Valentine's Day gift.

The Scoop front pages are by far the best personalised newspapers in the UK - and the only ones written and designed by real journalists who have worked on national newspapers.

For more information go to www.makingthenews.co.uk

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. The Express is obviously fed up with ranting about immigrants - so today it turns its attention to Muslims. It is rumoured that they are giving away free copies of Mein Kampf with tomorrow's paper.
Anyway, here's what making the news today ...

Tales from the tabs

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

GETTING FRESH AIR
A holiday firm is chartering plans to fly nudists from Germany to an island in the Baltics - though the crew will keep their uniforms on.

HALF CUT
Boozy Frank Kozumplik, 49, was nicked after driving two miles in a snowstorm on a lawnmower to buy drink in Michigan, US.

PET RESCUE
Bungling ram raiders targeting an off-licence crashed a Ford Fiesta through the front of a vet's surgery next door in Chatham, Kent.

Cole-gate: Day 5

Yet more Rat King Cole in today's Sun. They report that Cheryl is on the verge of a nervous breakdown following newspaper reports that he bedded a couple of slappers.
Dubbing it The Cole War, they reveal that Cheryl had hoped they could "work on" having a baby after her busy summer schedule with Girls Aloud. Turns out only one of them was "working on" it.
It is also reported that Cheryl knew nothing about Ashley's affair with hairdresser Aimee Walton. A source said: "Everything she has claimed about him confiding in her was just to save face. She's completely devastated."

Oh, and Britney is not in the best of shape either ...

Funny newspaper front pages

Journalists love nothing more than a good "knobbly monster" - a desperate attempt not to use the same word again . . . when there is only one. Named after Paul Hudson, who was writing about alligators when, having used up "reptiles", he resorted to "the knobbly monsters".

Here are some classic funny newspaper knobbly monsters (compiled by Tom Churchill of The Scottish Sun) ..

Wendy Alexander: the machine-gun-voiced brainbox (The Sun)

Dr Jekyll: the creepy transforming murderer (The Sun)

Neds: the intellectually-challenged Buckie-lovers (News of the World)

Scoop of the day

Scoop of the day goes to The Mirror who tracked down the bloke who won £19m on the Lottery - it turns out he has a heart defect that could kill him at any moment.

Classic front pages ...

Here's the Daily Mail's front page in the aftermath of the tsunami that swept through Asia in December 2004. I'm not sure it was the best day to run a SAIL to France from just £9.99 promo ...

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

The same Walsall that cost me dear last week cost the Editor's father-in-law a 100-1 accy last night. Ouch! There's always someone worse off than yourself as they say ...

Anyway it's another big night in the SPL, Premier League and CIS Cup.

Man U and Chelsea at home are certainties. Everton at home to Spurs has draw written all over it, Celtic can't afford to slip up at Fir Park (if the game goes ahead) and Rangers could struggle against Hearts before going through in extra time.

So Rangers and Everton draws and wins for Celtic, Man U and Chelsea.
Five four-folds and one five-fold should do the trick.

Did I mention I'm due a wee win????

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. One day we may even be able to report that The Express has splashed on something other than evil migrants. Here's what making the news today ...

Scoop of the day

Cole-gate (geddit?) Day Four:

The Sun has yet more shocking revelations that will add another million to Cheryl's divorce settlement ..

Arrogant love-rat Ashley Cole allegedly told one of his conquests: "I don't need to wear a condom because Chelsea give us check-ups."
Glamour model Brooke Healey, 23, said: "I'd had quite a lot to drink so I took a gamble. Luckily I didn't get pregnant but for weeks I was worried I might be."

Here is fag Ash pictured in happier times with Cheryl, matching white suits and all.

Personalised Valentine's Day Gifts

Guest blogger Scooped! regularly brings you examples of his brilliant personalised newspaper front pages.

Scooped! produce fake newspapers for every occasion - and they also design brilliant personalised magazine front covers.

Here is a personalised Valentine's Day newspaper - the perfect personalised Valentine's Day gift.

The Scoop front pages are by far the best personalised newspapers in the UK - and the only ones written and designed by real journalists who have worked on national newspapers.

For more information go to www.makingthenews.co.uk

Tales from the tabs

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

BAD DIET
Boffins have begun a £1.4million study into whether eating junk food turns men into criminals.

A TRAGIC GLOSS
A vicar has told the family of Brian Storey to replace his gravestone in Leckhampton, Gloucs, because it is too shiny.

HI-DE-EYE HOLIDAY
A startled holiday hotel guest was delivered a human eyeball heading for a hospital after a cabbie mixed up boxes in Hobart, Australia.

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

I hope you all ignored my tips from last night - rotten as usual - and thankfully I didn't part with a single penny.

I'm more optimistic about tonight though and there is a full English card to choose from as well as CIS cup semi in Scotland.

Assuming Barry Robson is playing I expect Dundee United to beat Aberdeen at 6/4. Bolton are poor but Wigan are worse so home win at 5/6. Tranmere should be too strong for Gillingham - a home banker at 5/6. Ipswich have a great home record but can't buy a win away from home and I expect that to continue tonight with a home win over Plymouth at 7/10 while Wolves should be in confident mood and should see of Sheffield Wednesday at 4/5.

Fiver 5-fold pays £130 but I'm going to try different tactics tonight and perm 4 from 5.

Good luck!

Classic newspaper front pages ...

Not for the first time The Sun goes quackers! Global warming, war, poverty - yet the Wapping wide boys splashed (boom boom) on the Queen having a rubber duck in her bathroom in this classic front page from 2001.

Classic headlines ..

Some more funny newspaper headlines ...

Man Run Over By Freight Train Dies - The Los Angeles Times.

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead.

Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing.

Police Kill Youth In Effort To Stop His Suicide Attempt.

Drug Dealers Dealt Heavy Blow Say Police.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ...

Tales from the tabs

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

DICK MADELEY
Telly host Richard Madeley has revealed he does not wear underpants as he likes to feel the air flow around his privates.

CABBIE POUNDED
Taxi driver Parvez Akhtar, 48, was punched for each pound he was owed by a lout who refused to pay a £15 fare in Derby.

WAG MAG LAGS
Ex-soccer star Jamie Redknapp's posh Icon magazine for super-rich footballers and their WAGs has lost £85,000 in a year, latest accounts reveals.

Personalised Valentine's Day Gifts

Guest blogger Scooped! regularly brings you examples of his brilliant personalised newspaper front pages.

Scooped! produce fake newspapers for every occasion - and they also design brilliant personalised magazine front covers.

Here is a personalised Valentine's Day newspaper - the perfect personalised Valentine's Day gift.

The Scoop front pages are by far the best personalised newspapers in the UK - and the only ones written and designed by real journalists who have worked on national newspapers.

For more information go to www.makingthenews.co.uk

Funny newspaper phrases

Journalists love nothing more than a good "knobbly monster" - a desperate attempt not to use the same word again . . . when there is only one. Named after Paul Hudson, who was writing about alligators when, having used up "reptiles", he resorted to "the knobbly monsters".

Here are some classic funny newspaper knobbly monsters (compiled by Tom Churchill of The Scottish Sun)

Safe: the small metal lock-up (The Sun)

Loch Ness: the mysterious Inverness-shire waterway (News of the World)

George Michael: the spliff-toting gay warbler (News of the World)

Scoop of the day

Scoop of the day goes to The Sun as the Ashley Cole saga rumbles on. For those of you have missed it or couldn't care less the Chelsea and England defender is married to Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Tweedy but he is a love rat.
He beds a besotted blonde groupie (after twice being sick - yip, she is that classy) and she is so outraged that he could cheat on his missus she runs to the newspapers and gets paid tens of thousands of pounds to tell her story.
Cole breaks down and admits he is a bad boy but Cheryl doesn't believe he did it. Eh?
Anyway, The Sun exclusively reveals today that he offered her cash to have an abortion after she told him she might be pregnant.
Oh, and and another girl has come out to say that she was also bedded by Cole five months after he married Cheryl.
More sleazy revelations tomorrow ...

Newspaper gift

The Editor lives a freebie with his paper and as High School Musical has taken over the western world The Mirror easily wins newspaper gift of the day with their HSM 2 trump card give away ..

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

Still reeling from the weekend ... Leeds cost me a double on Saturday, Darlington cost me a five-fold and yesterday just to rub it in Man City cost me a four-fold after Man U, Cardiff and Celtic all won.

Just my luck!

It's a busy week for the football - plenty on Tuesday so I'll be giving tonight's games a miss.

For anyone silly enough to go with my tips I'd probably back Palace, Killie, Hamilton and Gretna at 8/1.

Karl Heinz Rumour-nigge

Some football rumours from today's papers ...

Rangers are lining up a loan move for Marcus Bent (The Sun)

Middlesbrough's Jonathan Woodgate is wanted by Newcastle and Spurs (Various)

Kevin Keegan is also keen on Derby starlet Giles Barnes (Daily Express)

Mark Hughes is considering a beat the deadline bid for Heerenveen midfielder Michael Bradley (Daily Mirror)

Man City are reported to have failed wiht a bid for Colombian ace Nelson Rivas (Daily Mail)

Meanwhile, from Sky Sports: Celtic have won the race to sign Middlesbrough starlet Ben Hutchinson.
The 20-year-old striker has penned a pre-contract with the Scottish champions, in a deal which will shock and disappoint Boro.
Hutchinson made the breakthrough into Boro's first team this season and scored on his Premier League debut at Manchester City.

Tales from the tabs

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ..

BREEZY STREET
A man escaped with just cuts and bruises after wind blew him 15ft up and 70ft along a road in Mostar, Bosnia.

STRIKE IT LUCKY
Miracle man Darren Milne from Sheffield was hit on the head by a billion-volt lightning strike on holiday in Utah, USA - and survived.

but not everyone is so lucky ....

OVER AND OUT
Expat radio ham Alan Wright, 71, died falling 70ft as he fitted a roof aerial in Rabat, Malta - to contact his pals back home in Wrexham.

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

It's Saturday - and about time I won some money back from Mr Bookie (although I'm not holding my breath)
Three lines on today ...

Coventry, Southampton, Portsmouth, Darlington and East Fife an 8/1 accy
£2.50 on Leeds, Swindon, Dundee Utd and Motherwell would pay £53
And three draws at Villa, Watford and Oldham would do me nicely.

If they all come up I'll Scoop a tidy £185

Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye to Ladbrokes ...

Football gifts

Some footballers talking mince ...

Charlie Nicholas (for a change): I've no idea what Arsene Wenger paid for him. It was four million plus." (The cartoon, left, is good though)
Matt Le Tissier: "I know medicals are definitely a lot more thorough than they were in the past. And I don't even know what they were like in the past."

Simon Davies after Roy Hodgson is appointed Fulham manager: "With a new manager coming in we've got to draw a line behind what's happened before."

And finally, Phil Thompson: "Reading's six-foot-two lads are five foot eleven this year."

Compiled by Graham Wray and Ally Ross at The Sun)

Tales from the tabs

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

TRAGIC JAM
Trucker Dariusz Wujcek, 50, died of a heart attack after arguing with drivers in a TWO-DAY traffic jam in Poland.

PENNY PINCHERS
People pick up an average of £3.80 in lost coins every year - a total of £186million - according to a new poll.

KRAV-ING SEX?
Rocker Lenny Kravitz says he's been celibate for three years.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ...

Funny newspaper phrases

Journalists love nothing more than a good "knobbly monster" - a desperate attempt not to use the same word again . . . when there is only one. Named after Paul Hudson, who was writing about alligators when, having used up "reptiles", he resorted to "the knobbly monsters".

Here are some classic funny newspaper knobbly monsters (compiled by Tom Churchill of The Scottish Sun)

Australian man: the working-class barbecue-lover (News of the World)

Igloo: the sub-zero dwelling (The Sun)

Lemon: the zesty yellow fruit (The Sun)

Personalised Valentine's Day Gifts

Guest blogger Scooped! regularly brings you examples of his brilliant personalised newspaper front pages.

Scooped! produce fake newspapers for every occasion - and they also design brilliant personalised magazine front covers.

Here is a personalised Valentine's Day newspaper - the perfect personalised Valentine's Day gift.

The Scoop front pages are by far the best personalised newspapers in the UK - and the only ones written and designed by real journalists who have worked on national newspapers.

For more information visit www.makingthenews.co.uk

Scoop of the day

No Scoop of the day because every paper has the tale of French rogue trader Jérôme Kerviel who lost his bank, Societe Generale, a massive £3.7bn. Apparently he spent most of his day dealing with a Derivatives Associate at Morgan Stanley in Glasgow ....
The Independent splash is probably the best of the lot.

Tales from the tabs

Here are some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

VOW OF SILENCE
Noisy priests and fans at a Vatican football tournament in Rome were told to quiten down after upsetting neighbours.

A STIR FRY-UP
A team of 400 Chinese chefs are coming to the UK to learn how to cook fry-ups for Brits at the Beijing Olympics.

MOSS BE QUIET
Model Kate Moss has been driving her new neighbours in London mad with all-night karaoke sessions with lover Jamie Hince and pal Sadie Frost.

Classic headlines ..

Some classic funny newspaper headlines and all genuine ...

Dr Fuchs, off to America - Der Speigel

Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says.

Miners Refuse To Work After Death.

Prostitutes appeal to Pope

Newspaper gift

It's not quite as good as Button Moon or Sooty and certainly not as good as Only Fools and Horses but News Int Group (via The Times) are giving away a free Henry's Cat DVD today. Got to be worth a pop ...

Scoop of the day

More like poop of the day .. as in full of s***.
The Daily (Xenephobic) Express reports that 1.2m Poles arrived in Britain - and apparently even that is an under-estimate.
And your point is?
Tomorrow: How the Brits have taken over the Costas in Spain.
Next week: How we brought civilisation to North America.

Personalised Valentine's Gifts

Guest blogger Scooped! regularly brings you examples of his brilliant personalised newspaper front pages.

Scooped! produce fake newspapers for every occasion - and they also design brilliant personalised magazine front covers.

Here is a personalised Valentine's Day newspaper - the perfect personalised Valentine's Day gift.

The Scoop front pages are by far the best personalised newspapers in the UK - and the only ones written and designed by real journalists who have worked on national newspapers.

For more information go to www.makingthenews.co.uk

Tales from the tabs

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

YOU'RE BEAUTI-FALL
Mum Caroline Gregory, 38, dodged a falling tree at home in Eastleigh, Hants, because she rushed out to a James Blunt gig.
(Though I suspect being hit by a tree would have been less painful)

VEERS TO THE RIGHT
An Alfa Romeo car built for fascist leader Benito Mussolini in 1935 could fetch £1million at auction at Cheltenham Racecourse next month.

YOU TAKING THE PISTE?
Bargain-hunter Bruno Prior, 41, of Maidenhead, Berks, bought a Swiss ski resort hit by global warming - for just 45p.

And finally ..
Workers in Glasgow are the happiest in the UK - with only 13 per cent saying they don't like their jobs. Discuss.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy to read the papers? The Editor brings you the best of today's newspaper front pages. Here's what making the news across the country ...

Funny newspaper phrases

Journalists love nothing more than a good "knobbly monster" - a desperate attempt not to use the same word again . . . when there is only one. Named after Paul Hudson, who was writing about alligators when, having used up "reptiles", he resorted to "the knobbly monsters".

Here are some classic funny newspaper knobbly monsters (compiled by Tom Churchill of The Scottish Sun)

Meat Loaf: the waistcoat-clad behemoth (News of the World)

Goths: the followers of the sombre fashion of black clothing and garish (The Sun)

Crown: the jewel-encrusted headwear (The Sun)

Newspaper gift

The Editor loves a good freebie with his paper and The Times has been magic all week. Yesterday it was a brilliant Button Moon DVD (Remember: We're off to Button Moon, we'll follow Mr Spoon, Button Moon) and today you get a free Sooty DVD.
Touch of class!

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

Like Spurs last night, Everton are desperate to get to a final and are a great price at 9/5 to beat Chelsea at Goodison in the second leg of their Carling Cup semi. A 1-0 win will see the Toffeemen through to the final. Mikel Arteta, left, is 14/1 first/last scorer with Ladbrokes.
I also fancy Ross County to beat Cove Rangers at 4/7 and can't split Forest and Millwall at The Den in Coca-Cola League One so a draw it is at 11/5.

A treble pays 13/1.

Classic front pages ...

Another classic front page, this time from The Sun. Oval Office love rat Bill Clinton is caught with his trousers down, a real stain on his character.
Monica Lewinsky became famous overnight - Bill rejected the opportunity to star in Hamlet ads. And there was me thinking the tobacco lobby ran America.

They're gonna make me go to Rehab

£77bn wiped off the FTSE, global recession fears, hints of interest rate rises and cuts in public spending, consumer confidence at all-time low - and it's only expected to get worse.

At least I didn't give up a steady, well-paid job to go self-employed and run my own business. Uh-oh!

Ach well, there's always someone worse off than yourself. Just ask Amy Winehouse ..

Newspaper front pages

Too busy to read the papers? The Editor brings you the best of today's newspaper front pages. Here's what making the news across the country ...

Tales from the tabs

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ....

NET LOSS
Business lose £6.5million a year because of employees surfing the internet, a poll has revealed.
But reading The Editor's daily blog is OK, The Editor insisted last night.

UGLY WAYNE
Girls have voted Wayne Rooney No1 in a poll of the world's ugliest footballers - ahead of AC Milan's buck-toothed Brazilian Ronaldo.

PLOD-CAST
Police have launched their own podcasts for the people of Hampshire.

Scoop of the day

I hope this turns out to be a lot of rubbish but The Sun is reporting that George Burley will be named new Scotland manager before Friday.
As you know I am waiting on 25/1 Mark McGhee (he was that price way back in November) on getting the job for a wee pay day.
Who wants Burley anyway?
And here's Mr McGhee himself telling the SFA blazers there is only one man for the job ..

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

Still a bit gutted about Walsall at the weekend but hopeful (not quite confident) that I will bounce back tonight.
Plenty of games to choose from but I'm going for a four-fold of Spurs, Swindon, Aberdeen and Fulham at odds of 20/1
Come on!

Personalised newspaper gifts

Guest blogger Scooped! regularly brings you examples of his brilliant personalised newspaper front pages.

Scooped! produce fake newspapers and magazines for every occasion - and they also design brilliant personalised magazine front covers.

Here is a personalised Valentine's Day newspaper - the perfect personalised Valentine's Day gift.

The Scoop front pages are by far the best personalised newspapers in the UK - and the only ones written and designed by real journalists who have worked on national newspapers.

For more information go to www.makingthenews.co.uk

Funny newspaper phrases

Journalists love nothing more than a good "knobbly monster" - a desperate attempt not to use the same word again . . . when there is only one. Named after Paul Hudson, who was writing about alligators when, having used up "reptiles", he resorted to "the knobbly monsters".

Here are some classic funny newspaper knobbly monsters (compiled by Tom Churchill of The Scottish Sun)

Fossils: the valuable footprints from the past (News of the World)

UEFA Cup: the eight-sided trophy (The Sun)

Victorian bicycle: the rattly velocipede (Agency copy)

Classic headlines

Some funny newspaper headlines for you - and yes, they are genuine. Whether the sub editor kept his/her job I don't know.

Transsexuals Benefits Cut Off - Highbury & Islington Express.

Passengers To Wait 10 Years For Fast Trains - The Times.

Clinton Places Dickey In Gore's Hands - Bangor Maine News.

Prostitutes To Hold Open Day - Irish Times.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy to read the papers? The Editor brings you the best of today's newspaper front pages. Here's what making the news ...