Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...
Jobless Terry Thurling, 27, was jailed for four months for stealing eight vibrators from a sex shop in Canterbury, Kent.
A teacher accidentally beamed porn on a screen seen by kids of eight at posh Pennthorpe School in Rudgwick, West Sussex.
New comic film Bruno, starring Sacha Baron Cohen as a gay Austrian Tv presenter, has led to a 120 per cent rise in inquiries by Brits for hotels in the country.
Junkies are harvesting opium from poppies growing in a church garden in Waterloo, south London.