Personalised retirement gifts

Scooped! produced personalised newspaper and personalised magazine gifts for every occasion - including retirements.

Our retirement newspapers are available in two different styles; The Scoop (red-top tabloid style) and The Daily Scoop (middle market style). We also produce brilliant retirement magazine gifts in SCOOP! (celebrity magazine style)

A personalised retirement newspaper front page is the perfect personalised retirement gift.

Put your colleague on the front page of a spoof newspaper and make them smile!

Our personalised retirement front page gifts are written and designed by real journalists. So stick with the experts, stick with Scooped!

Tales from the tabs

Some funny newspaper stories from today's papers ...

BAW LAW
IT is now illegal for Italian men to touch or scratch their genitals in public following an Appeal Court ruling that it is "contrary to public decency."

SEEN YOU JIMMY
A serial Spanish prankster was caught by cops wearing a kilt and a 'See you Jimmy' hat seconds before he was set to run ton to pitch and disrupt Celtic's Champions League clash with Barcelona.

BACH LOUDER THAN YOUR BITE
Classical music is to be played in an attempt to curb barking at a dog home in Essex.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news this Thursday morning ...

Newspaper headline

Newspaper headline of the day comes from The Sun. They report that soccer star Gary Neville's 58-year-old dad Neville (yip, he really is called Neville Neville) was decked in the street by a road rage thug.

Paper talk

My football gift to you - all the transfer talk, rumours and gossip from today's newspapers!

And there's plenty of it ..

Frank Rijkaard is set quit as Barcelona coach this summer and it is believed he would consider an offer to manage Chelsea. (Various)

Inter Milan are lining up a £14m bid to lure Belarus winger Alexander Hleb away from Arsenal. (Daily Express)

Lyon have accused Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson of scandalous behaviour in trying to unsettle their £45m-rated striker Karim Benzema after making public his interest in him. (Various)

Meanwhile, United want to sign Cameroon keeper Carlos Kameni. (Daily Star)

Blackburn are set to trigger an option to keep Dutch defender Andre Ooijer at the club for another year. (Various)

Aston Villa boss Martin O'Neill is ready to open contract talks with left-back Wilfred Bouma. (Daily Star)

But O'Neill has told on-loan Liverpool keeper Scott Carson that his future cannot be sorted out until the end of the season. (Various)

Manchester United and Liverpool are battling it out to sign Peterborough's 6ft 5in keeper Joe Lewis. (The Sun)

Newcastle boss Kevin Keegan insists he will have money for new players in the summer - as long as he keeps the club in the Premier League. (The Sun)

Keegan says he needs five new players to transform the team. (Daily Mirror)

Meanwhile, Mark Viduka is unhappy at being left out of the side and looks set to leave Newcastle. (Daily Mail)

Sunderland manager Roy Keane transfer-listed Liam Miller after becoming fed up with the midfielder's poor time keeping. (Various)

Tottenham boss Juande Ramos is pressing on with plans to sign a new goalkeeper to replace Paul Robinson. (The Sun)

West Ham manager Alan Curbishley plans to snap up Derby teenager Giles Barnes for £3.5m. (Daily Mirror)

Wolves manager Mick McCarthy wants to sign Middlesbrough's 20-year-old winger Adam Johnson. (Daily Star)

Meanwhile striker Freddy Eastwood appears to be ready to seek a move from the club after claiming he is restless at Molineux. (Daily Mirror)

Liverpool boss Rafael Benitez will not be rushed into offering defender Sami Hyypia a new contract. (Various)

Portsmouth manager Harry Redknapp has revealed he expects striker David Nugent to join Ipswich on loan before the weekend. (Various)

Wigan striker Julius Aghahowa is wanted by Crystal Palace as a replacement for Dougie Freedman. (Daily Mirror)

Carlisle have dismissed rumours that 17-year-old striker Gary Madine is on his way to Newcastle. (Telegraph)

Frank Rijkaard is set quit as Barcelona coach this summer and it is believed he would consider an offer to manage Chelsea. (Various)

Funny newspaper story

The Scottish Sun has my favourite story of the day - a great-grandad called Buster Martin is training to become the world's oldest marathon runner at the age of 101.
The bold Buster has 17 kids which could at least explain why he is so fit.
Some man!

Newspaper gifts

The papers are going crazy for carrier bags these days. The Mail continues its campaign to banish them - while The Telegraph is giving away free eco-friendly carriers to every reader.
Think I'll bag one myself ...

Scoop of the day

Scoop of the day goes to the ooh-ahh Daily Star (if the story is true) who report that Britney is pregnant again by her Brum lover.
She's some girl ...

Tales from the tabs

Some funny newspaper stories from today's papers ...

SUM XING WONG
Xing Yuan, 52, tried to drown himself after £2,000 was 'stolen' from his hotel in China - but he'd searched the wrong room.

LOST HIS RAG
Crazed Francesco Mellea, 79, shot his cleaning lady for doing a poor job in Catanzaro, Italy - she is recovering in hospital.

CRIMINAL RECORD
Police came under fire yesterday after admitting they nabbed just 500 drivers using their mobile phones last year.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news this Tuesday morning ...

Karl Heinze Rumour-nigge

My football gift to you .... all the transfer talk, rumours and gossip from today's newspapers!

Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich will hand under-fire manager Avram Grant a £100m transfer kitty for next season. (Daily Express) Atletico Madrid are keen to lure Liverpool manger Rafael Benitez and keeper Jose Reina to the club next season. (Daily Star) Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has asked striker Louis Saha to try to persuade £30m Lyon target Karim Benzema to join the Old Trafford club. (Daily Mirror) Meanwhile Ferguson's number one target Dimitar Berbatov looks to be staying at Tottenham, having been promised a bumper new pay deal. (Various) Arsenal fear key midfielder Mathieu Flamini has agreed to join Juventus. Flamini is out of contract at the end of the season. (The Independent) Portsmouth are hopeful that striker David Nugent will join Ipswich on loan next week. (Daily Mail) Newcastle are eyeing Carlisle's teenage hot-shot Gary Madine for the next campaign. (Daily Mirror) Wigan manager Steve Bruce is set to swoop for Senegal skipper Lamine Diatta, who is currently a free agent. (Daily Mirror) Arsenal's Abou Diaby is a reported target of Italian giants Inter Milan. (Daily Mirror) Manchester United defender Michael Lea is on trial at Plymouth. (Daily Star) Crystal Palace striker Dougie Freedman is set to snub a move to Leeds United. (The Sun)

Scoop6 and my other dodgy bets

Rubbish last night - Stoke's shock defeat (if there is such a thing in that damned Championship) meant I didn't even get my money back.
Tonight, I fancy Boro (4/7) to edge past Sheffield United; Dundee United (7/10) to get revenge on St Mirren for their Scottish Cup exit; Kilmarnock (21/20) to make it two wins out of two and condemn Gretna to the First Division and Hearts (9/2) to spring the shock of the night by beating Rangers at Tynecastle.
£1 trebles and a four-fold. Everything up pays £89.

Funny newspaper phrases

Journalists love nothing more than a good "knobbly monster" - a desperate attempt not to use the same word again . . . when there is only one. Named after Paul Hudson, who was writing about alligators when, having used up "reptiles", he resorted to "the knobbly monsters".

Here are some classic funny newspaper knobbly monsters (compiled by Tom Churchill of The Scottish Sun

Japan: the earthquake-prone isles; the orimental centre of innovation (News of the world)

Hotel: the friendly retreat (The Sun)

Smeato: the bashful bomber-beater (News of the World)

Cole-gate: Day 273

The Cole War rumbles on ... now Cheryl has hired a counsellor to try to save her marriage but Rat King Cole doesn't fancy the twice-a-day sessions.

Personalised anniversary gifts

Scooped! produced personalised newspaper and personalised magazine gifts for every occasion - including engagements.

Our engagement newspapers are available in two different styles; The Scoop (red-top tabloid style) and The Daily Scoop (middle market style)

A personalised engagement newspaper front page is the perfect personalised engagement gift.

Put the happy couple on the front page of a spoof newspaper and make them smile!

Our personalised engagement front page gifts are written and designed by real journalists. So stick with the experts, stick with Scooped!

Scoop6 and other dodby bets

If the phenomenon that is away wins in League Two (there have been more away wins than home wins this season) continues then we could be in for a treat tonight.
Five games in League Two tonight and I'm backing all five to end in away wins.
Brentford (23/20) Rotherham (13/8) Hereford (Evs) Bury (13/8) Peterboro (5/6)
Usual £1 four-folds and five-fold.
In the ridiculously difficult to predict Championship I'm going for QPR (8/5) Burnley (4/5) Stoke (6/4) and in League One promotion chasing Carlisle (6/4) must have too much for Crewe.
£1 trebles and four-fold.

Stick on a £1 accy as well just in case - it would pay over £900 so got to be worth a quid.

Karl Heinze Rumour-nigge

My football gift to you .... all the transfer talk, rumours and gossip from today's newspapers!

Tottenham manager Juande Ramos will be handed £40m to bring new players to the club in the summer. Ramos has his eye on Juventus' £7m-rated midfielder Tiago and Seville midfielder Diego Capel, who would cost about £8.5m. (Various)

However, right-back Pascal Chimbonda appears to be out of favour with Ramos and could be sold in the summer. (The Sun)

Manchester United target Karim Benzema says he is staying at Lyon. The 20-year-old French striker insists a move to England would only be his third choice behind Spain and Italy anyway. (Various)

Everton are set to sign on-loan midfielder Steven Pienaar on a permanent basis, according to his German club Borussia Dortmund. (Various)

Arsenal have sent scouts to Spain to watch 26-year-old Elche goalkeeper Wilfredo Caballero. (The Independent)

Birmingham are planning a £4m move for West Ham striker Bobby Zamora, and will table the bid once their Premier League status is secured. (Daily Mirror)

Manchester United's highly-rated young striker Fraizer Campbell is wanted by Charlton for £2m. (Daily Mirror)

Fulham boss Roy Hodgson will find out on Friday if he has been successful in his long-running pursuit of Rangers striker Daniel Cousin. (Daily Express)

Hodgson is also reportedly interested in Elche defender Samuel Llorca, but faces competition for the player's signature from Barcelona. (Telegraph)

Arsenal are monitoring Rosenborg midfielder Per Ciljan Skjelbred, who is valued at £5m by his club. (Telegraph)

Middlesbrough's Adam Johnson is wanted by Sheffield Wednesday. (Daily Star)

Hearts striker Andrius Velicka is on the verge of quitting the club to join Norwegian side Viking Stavanager in a £1m deal. (Daily Record)

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news this Tuesday morning ...

Tales from the tabs

Some funny newspaper stories from today's papers ...

PISTE OFF
French ski-lift operators went on strike yesterday, causing chaos for thousands of holidaying Brits.

CREEPY CRAWLY
Debt collector Dennis Darlow yesterday admitted kerb-crawling in London - at the age of 80.

BRU YORK CITY
New Yorkers are getting a 'taste of Scotland' - by guzzling deep fried Mars bars and Irn-Bru and popular eaterie A Salt and Battery.

Personalised anniversary gifts

Scooped! produced personalised newspaper and personalised magazine gifts for every occasion - including wedding anniversaries.

They have a special template for first wedding anniversaries and their wedding anniversary newspapers are available in two different styles; The Scoop (red-top tabloid style) and The Daily Scoop (middle market style)

A personalised anniversary newspaper front page is the perfect personalised anniversary gift.

Put the happy couple on the front page of a spoof newspaper and make them smile!

Their personalised Anniversary front page gifts are written and designed by real journalists. So stick with the experts, stick with Scooped!

Newspaper gifts

The Editor loves a freebie with his morning paper! Today you can get two free tickets for Alton Towers with The Sun - or free Glucosamite Sulphate tablets with your pharmaceutical-loving Daily Mail. Eh?
Fortunately, they're not giving away Prozac because according to a major new study it works no better than a placebo for the majority of patients.
I'm beginning to feel a bit down .......

Tales from the tabs

Some funny newspaper stories from today's papers ...

GETTING OFF SCOT FREE
Men filing for divorce in Scotland get a better deal than anywhere else in the world, according to top lawyers.

WON IN A MILLION
Lucky Freddie Craggs won £1million with a 50p bet in Yorkshire but didn't tell his pals and still let them pick up the bill at his 60th birthday dinner.

TRAILER CASH
Penniless Bobby Harris, 47 - who lives in a trailer park home in Georgia - has scooped a staggering £135million on the US lottery.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news this Monday morning ...

Karl Heinze Rumour-nigge

My football gift to you .... all the transfer talk, rumours and gossip from today's newspapers!

Charlton boss Alan Pardew plans to sign Chelsea's Scott Sinclair on loan, beating interest from Burnley and Stoke. (The Mirror)

Blackburn are ready to snap up midfield prospect Michael Potts from Manchester United. (The Mirror)

West Brom boss Tony Mowbray will release Scottish striker Craig Beattie after landing Aston Villa's Luke Moore. (The Mirror)

Lomana LuaLua, now with Greek side Olympiakos, has told Newcastle boss Kevin Keegan he wants to return to St James' Park. (The Mirror)

Arsenal striker Eduardo has vowed to return to football despite breaking his leg in three places. (Various)

Birmingham defender Martin Taylor, who was responsible for Eduard's horrific injury, has paid a secret visit to the Arsenal man in hospital. (The Sun)

Former Coventry star David Busst, who suffered a similar injury to Eduardo in 1996, has said he will write a get-well letter to the Arsenal player. (The Sun)

Liverpool frontman Fernando Torres, who scored a hat-trick against Middlesbrough on Saturday, has said he would happily swap his goals for medals. (Various)

Manchester United midfielder Michael Carrick has claimed that squad rotation is keeping everyone at the club on their toes. (The Sun)

Portsmouth manager Harry Redknapp has been given the green light by the Football League to launch a takeover of Bournemouth. (The Mirror)

Personalised Mother's Day magazine gift

Still looking for that special Mother's Day gift - then look no further than Scooped!

Scooped! produce brilliant personalised magazines as gifts for all occasions - including Mother's Day.
Show your mum how much you care by putting her on the front page of a spoof magazine!

A personalised magazine front page gift is the perfect personalised Mother's Day gift.

Here are samples of our SCOOP! joke Mother's Day magazine gifts ...

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

I was close on a number of lines at the weekend but sadly there was to be no cigar.
Tonight, Man City are at home to Everton and both are still pushing for that coveted fourth place.
League Two leaders MK Dons are one -up on League One leaders Swansea going into the second leg of the St Johnstone Wet Paint Trophy.
Always risky, but you get 10/1 on both games ending in draws and you'll get at least your money back if you stick on £2 singles and a double if one of them come up.

Personalised Mother's Day newspaper gift

Still looking for that special Mother's Day gift - then look no further than Scooped!

Scooped! produce brilliant personalised newspapers as gifts for all occasions - including Mother's Day.
Show your mum how much you care by putting her on the front page of a spoof newspaper!

A personalised newspaper front page gift is the perfect personalised Mother's Day gift.

Here are samples of our Daily Scoop and Scoop joke Mother's Day newspaper gifts ...

Newspaper gift

The Editor loves a good freebie with his paper - and we're spoiled for choice this morning.
I'm going wildcats (if you have a young girl in the family you'll get it!) for The Mirror's free High School Musical fanzine.
If that wasn't enough the Mail is giving away free classic garden roses to every reader and as The Editor's missus is looking to do up our garden this could be just the thing.
God, I'm getting old ....

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

Going for Villa, Celtic, Chelsea, Aberdeen and Blackburn.
Any four from five, all five will pay £106 for my £6 stake.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news this Sunday morning ...

Karl Heinze Rumour-nigge

Transfer rumours from today's football newspapers ..

AC Milan will bid for Arsenal striker Emmanuel Adebayor in the summer, in the wake of Ronaldo's career-threatening injury. (Daily Mirror)
European champions Milan could also move for Chelsea forward duo Didier Drogba or Andriy Shevchenko at the end of the season. (Daily Mirror)

Newcastle are planning a £12m summer offer for Celtic midfielder Aiden McGeady. (Daily Record)

Rangers are tracking Olympiakos defenders Paraskevas Antzas and Vassilis Torsidis. (Daily Record)
Fulham manager Roy Hodgson received loan interest from other clubs for striker David Healy, but looks set to keep him - for now. (Daily Express)


Real Madrid chief Ramon Calderon has cooled on his interest in Manchester United's Cristiano Ronaldo. (Daily Mirror)


Birmingham boss Alex McLeish wants Nottingham Forest winger Kris Commons and Huddersfield's Matt Glennon. (Daily Mirror)

Motherwell defender Stephen Craigan has signed a new two-year contract. (Daily Star)

Tales from the tabs

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

HIC HEY OCCIFER
A drunk-driver who parked his car and walked into a police station was charged by cops in Wetaskiwin, Canada.

MONEY TRAIL
A crowd followed Wan Qui, 54, after cash taped to his leg to foil muggers came loose note by note in Qingdao, China.

AVON LADDY
The 35th best-selling Avon Lady is a fella - 67-year-old Roy Moore of Essex, who sold £44,000 for their products last year.

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

It's going to be a busy day for The Editor and Mr Bookie ... first up; I've stuck a tenner double on Arsenal and Man U which if it comes up will cover all my bets for the day.

£2 accy on stoke, west ham, charlton, peterboro and man U at 35/1
£1 accy on coventry, palace, plymouth, scunthorpe, stroke and watford at 43/1

On my main line i'm once again sticking with the phenomenen that is away wins in League Two and I've picked out another three today - Peterboro (11/10) Stockport (6/5) Brentford (7/4) Throw in Liverpool (4/9) and Leeds (8/13? £1 four-folds and five-fold will return £110.

In SPL I'm going for three home wins - Dundee Utd (4/5), Motherwell (dodgy at evens) Hibs (4/5) and St Johnstone (10/11) in Division One. To make it interesting I'm throwing in my tip of the day Lincoln (11/4) 50p four-folds and five-fold returns over £100.

Good luck boys and girls.

Football gift

Sports stars talking rubbish ...

Mo Farrah: "My nickname is Mojo because it's short for Mo."

Jamie Redknapp: "What David James is guilty of, and it's not his fault, was coming for crosses."

Paul Dickensen: "Just out of shot you can see the other athletes just coming into shot."

Presenter John Inverdale: "I've never understood the phrase curate's egg, but you could definitely use it to describe England's performance last week."

Tales from the tabs

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...

HEARSE AND CAT
Heartbroken cat owner Sophie Mutch, 73, of Echt, Aberdeenshire, is looking for someone to build a coffin for her beloved late pet Kitty who was hit by a car.

10 O'COCK NEWS
Thirty editors, directors and technical staff have been sacked from Turkmenistan's stated-owned news channel after a huge cockroach ran across a newsreader's desk during the main bulletin. Viewers complained it put them off their dinner.

DRIP-DRIVE CHARGE
Li Sun, 34, had an IV drip in his arm when stopped for erratic driving in China, after discharging himself from hospital.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news this Friday morning ...

Personalised newspaper gifts

Guest blogger Scooped! regularly brings you examples of his brilliant personalised newspaper and personalised magazine front pages.

Scooped! produce fake newspapers for every occasion - and they also design brilliant personalised magazine front covers.

Their professional journalists write and design bespoke pages - a completely unique front page for any occasion and a truly special keepsake.

Your page will be designed exactly as you want it .. original story, original headlines, original picture captions - no two pages are ever the same.

Call their newsdesk on 0141 616 0394 for a personal interview with a Scooped! reporter. Tell their hacks all about the person, provide funny stories and tell them what you would like included in your unique front page and their professional journalists will do the rest.

No other company in Britain offers this service so show that someone how special they are by putting them all over the front page of Scooped!

Here is an example of a bespoke 40th birthday newspaper front page - the perfect personalised birthday gift.

The Scoop front pages are by far the best personalised newspapers and magazines in the UK - and the only ones written and designed by real journalists who have worked on national newspapers.

For more information go to www.makingthenews.co.uk

Funny newspaper headlines

Here are some funny newspaper headlines that incredibly made it to print ...

Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?

Judge to rule on nude beach

Child's stool great for use in garden

Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors

Breaking news ... Celtic star

Aiden McGeady signs for Utrecht Ladies team

Breaking news .. Gazza is sectioned

Former Rangers and England star Paul Gascoigne has been arrested and sectioned under the Mental Health Act in Newcastle.

Police attended the Hilton Hotel in Gateshead yesterday evening after we received a report of concern for a 40-year-old man staying at the hotel," a Northumbria Police spokesman said.

"The man was detained under the Mental Health Act and no-one was injured during the incident.''

The ex-Tottenham Hotspur, Lazio, Rangers and Middlesbrough star has been recuperating from a hip operation in his hometown of Newcastle, where he started his playing career.

He is understood to have been staying at an exclusive hotel near the city following surgery, with unconfirmed reports of erratic behaviour involving compulsive computer gaming.

"Gazza", as he is affectionately known, has had a long-documented history of problems with alcohol and depression that ultimately saw him fail to achieve his footballing potential.

Gascoigne recently split with his representatives Jane Morgan Management and had been trying to forge a career in acting under the pseudonym "G8".