Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ....

GET IT DOWN!
Locals will fight plans to demolish The Full Monty film strip venue — Shiregreen working men's club in Sheffield.

SKY-TIGHT
An 82-year-old man was rescued by firemen after he got trapped in a skylight as he checked his chimney in Takeley, Essex.

BUY BUY EVERYBODY
TV's original Sooty puppet, bought by Harry Corbett at a seaside stall in 1948, is set to fetch £300 at auction in Derby.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..

Paper talk

My football gift to you - the best of the football rumours from today's newspapers ..

West Ham boss Gianfranco Zola has given a trial to former Deportivo striker Diego Tristan, a free agent after leaving Italian club Livorno. (Various)

Everton will make another move for Spurs midfielder Tom Huddlestone in the January transfer window. (The Sun)

Chelsea have signed 12-year-old French schoolboy Jeremy Boga - dubbed "the new Zinedine Zidane". After weeks of talks with the boy's parents, Chelsea have reached an agreement for the midfield prodigy to join them when he turns 16. (The Sun)

Middlesbrough have stepped up their effort to sign Belgium midfielder Steven Defour, 20, who captained Standard Liege to last season's title and was Belgian Footballer of the Year. (Daily Star)

Birmingham and Sheffield United are fighting it out for the signature of Spurs midfielder Hossam Ghaly. (Daily Mirror)

Fulham boss Roy Hodgson has told QPR to stump up £1.7m if they want to make winger Lee Cook's loan move permanent. (Daily Star)

Everton are the latest Premier League club to be the target of a multi-million-pound takeover by Indian tycoon Anil Ambani, the sixth richest man in the world. (Daily Mirror)

Former Spurs boss Terry Venables has blamed former striker Dimitar Berbatov for Tottenham's disastrous start to the season. (The Sun)

Tottenham boss Juande Ramos has just four games to save his job after Spurs - who have two points from six games - made their worst start to a season in 53 years. (The Sun)

Joe Kinnear started work as Newcastle manager on Monday but his first-team squad were given the day off - even though the former Wimbledon boss had said he intended to drag everyone in and make them watch the DVD of Saturday's 2-1 loss to Blackburn. (Various)

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

It has been an interesting few days for the Editor. I've had three coupons in a row all up going into the final match - and each time I have lost.
Arsenal (5/1 on) losing to Hull was a shocker, Man City losing at Wigan was unexpected and Inter at Milan was always going to be tight.
Fortunately I permed all three lines so still doubled my money. Plus I also got a Spanish treble of Real, Villareal and Barcelona up on Saturday night so not doing too badly at all.

Tonight, I think Lyon are the bet of the night at 7/2 to beat struggling Bayern. Fenerbache and Fiorentina should also do the business.
In the Championship I'm on both Sheffield teams plus Ipswich and QPR.

Good luck everyone.

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

It's Saturday - and once again I'm squaring up to Mr Bookie.

In the early kick offs I'm going for Liverpool and Wolves and throwing them with Arsenal and Southampton. Any 3 from 4, all up for £50.

In the 3pm kick offs I'm on Villa, Boro, Plymouth, Leeds and Scunthorpe - anny 4 from 5, all up for £45.

I've also done a treble of QPR, MK Dons and Dunfermline for £30.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..

Just received latest draft of the new http://ping.fm/ntWDP website - it's getting very exciting!

http://ping.fm/ntWDP customer is getting married at Airth Castle and we have designed a spoof newspaper front page. Headline is LOVE IS IN THE AIRTH

Just putting the finishes to a spoof work leaving newspaper front page for http://ping.fm/ntWDP

Despatched a 'Best Lover in the UK' spoof newspaper front page for http://ping.fm/ntWDP customer

Check out my bets for tonight at http://ping.fm/HT76A

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

It has been a great few days for The Editor. On Saturday I got a 4-fold of Brum, Wolves, Scunthorpe and Bradford all up.
On Sunday I got Everton, QPR double - and last night my treble of Liverpool, Inter and Schalke came up trumps.
Say hello to three in a row indeed!

Tonight I'm going for a Ipswich/QPR double at a tasty 7/1.
In the Champions League I'm on Lyon, Porto, Bayern and Arsenal at 10/1.

Wish me luck!

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ....

BARE-BACK MOUNTAIN
Swiss police are cracking down on nude hikers in the Alps after a spate of men and women were spotted trekking through the mountains wearing just walking boots and a rucksack.

UP ON THE WOOF
Deaf arthritic Labrador Buster was rescued by firefighters after going walkies on a house ROOF in Boston, Lincs.

BABY VROOMER
Singer Anthony Riches, 32, delivered his 7lb 13oz son Kyle in the back of his car in Cornwall.

Paper talk

My foootball gift to you - all the football transfer rumours from today's newspapers.

Newcastle owner Mike Ashley's bid to lure back Kevin Keegan ended in stalemate and talks look unlikely to be resurrected. (Various)

Blackburn manager Paul Ince has insisted he is "very happy" with his current job as speculation mounts he is a target to replace Keegan at Newcastle. (Various)

Tottenham's reserve team coach Clive Allen does not believe Gus Poyet will become the new manager at Newcastle because he is happy being Juande Ramos' assistant at White Hart Lane. (Press Association)

Chelsea boss Luiz Felipe Scolari says Roman Abamovich over-ruled the purchase of Robinho allowing the Brazilian to sign for Manchester City instead. (Daily Mirror)

Chelsea are poised to snatch Brazilian midfielder Mineiro from under Arsenal's noses to fill the void left by Michael Essien's long-term injury. (Daily Mirror)

Gunners boss Arsene Wenger has accused arch-rivals Tottenham of inflating the fees they got for Dimitar Berbatov and Robbie Keane. (Various)

Arsenal striker Robin Van Persie has told Manchester City their millions could never tempt him to move to Eastlands. (Sun)

Celtic boss Gordon Strachan last night called on club bosses to sort out a new deal for defender Gary Caldwell. (Express)

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

It's super duper Saturday and I could really do with putting one over Mr Bookie today after a few near misses.

In the lunchtime kick offs I'm going for Celtic, Leicester and Man U for £31.

In the afternoon I've got a fiver on Brum, Wolves, Scunthorpe and Bradford for £85 and a fiver on Arsenal, Inverness, Ayr and Queen of the South for £66. A (dream) £1 accy would pay a stonking £230.

In the evening kick offs I'm going Man City/Chelsea draw and Sheff Utd win for £44.

Wish me luck.

Funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids at http://ping.fm/RPT6g

The best of today's newspaper front pages at http://ping.fm/q3ci7

The best of football transfer rumours from today's newspapers at http://ping.fm/QB0Ur

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ....

BLIND DRUNK
Blind experts from Peru who can recognise a beer by its smell have been hired by brewer SABMiller to taste test brands including Peroni, Miller and Cusquena.

STAG FRIGHT
A trapped stag was cut free by SSPCA staff and building workers after getting its antlers stuck in power cable support wires on Barvas moor, Lewis.

CHIP AND SIN
Natalie Zielinska, 27, did £2,000 of damage to a chippy after staff put too little curry sauce on her chips, Brighton JPs heard.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..

Paper talk

My football gift to you .... the best of football transfer rumours from today's newspapers.

Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger has blasted Manchester City's new owners and told them he would not sell midfielder Cesc Fabregas, even for £135m. (The Sun)

Arsenal are being linked with Brazilian midfielder Mineiro, 33, who left Hertha Berlin this summer. (Daily Mail)

Wigan boss Steve Bruce admits he fears losing Emile Heskey for free when the England striker's contract ends next summer. (Various)

Birmingham will delay a decision on signing West Ham's Nigel Quashie on loan while they assess the midfielder's fitness. (Daily Mail)

Coventry are poised to snap up ex-Aston Villa and Reading defender Ulises de la Cruz, 34, on a short-term deal. (Various)

Leeds are set to give former Middlesbrough striker Malcolm Christie, 29, the chance to regain fitness by letting him use their training facilities. (Daily Star)

Birmingham will sign Tottenham outcast Kevin Prince-Boateng, 21, on loan. (Daily Mirror)

Personalised graduation newspaper and magazine gifts at http://ping.fm/SmrLa ?categoryID=6&txt_category=Graduations Let the graduate know how proud you are of them - by making them front page news!

Personalised football newspaper gifts at http://ping.fm/DPC4Y Make your loved one a football star for the day - by putting them on the front or back page of a spoof newspaper.
With ScoopSport you can 'sign' for your favourite team, be named their 'No1 fan' or even 'buy' the club.

Personalised Father's Day newspaper gifts at http://www.makingthenews.co.uk/categories.asp?categoryID=11&txt_category=Father's%20Day Show your dad how much you care by putting him on the front page of a joke newspaper.

Spoof engagement newspaper and magazine gifts at http://ping.fm/utEMg

Personalised 'pass your driving test' newspaper gifts at http://ping.fm/JASGv

Christmas newspaper gifts at http://ping.fm/OEHG6 - you can be Christmas No1 or World Wii Champ!

Business newsletters in the form of a spoof newspaper at http://ping.fm/oaZbp

Personalised birthday newspaper gifts and birthday magazine gifts at http://ping.fm/lfQZv

Personalised wedding anniversary newspaper and magazine gifts at http://ping.fm/yZzbt

'Adult' newspaper gifts (Page 3 style) at http://ping.fm/62HKy

On the hunt for decent (and like-minded) blogs to follow.

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ....

GREED IS RUDE
A paramedic called Clive GREEDY is facing a disciplinary hearing over claims he stole a stick of celery from a patient and scoffed it in Newport, Isle of Wight.

VIPE YOUR FACE
A £60 pot of Planet Skincare anti-wrinkle face cream made with synthetic viper venom has become a best-seller.

MAC MY DAY
Peckish Don Gorske, 54, has eaten a Big Mac every day since 1972 - 23,000 burgers - in Fond Du Luac, Wisconsin, US.

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..

Paper talk

My football gift to you - the best of the football rumours from today's newspapers ..

Gianfranco Zola has confirmed that he has accepted an offer to become West Ham boss and the club will announce his appointment on Wednesday. (Various)

Tottenham's assistant coach Gus Poyet has ruled out any chance of him becoming Newcastle's new manager. (Various)

Robbie Fowler has missed out on a move to Norwegian champions Brann Bergen because of his excessive wage demands. (Daily Mirror)

Fowler now looks set to join Blackburn on a pay-as-you-play deal. (Daily Mail)

Or, the 33-year-old has already been offered a three-month deal by Rovers. (Daily Telegraph)

Blackburn boss Paul Ince hopes to sign young striker Nick Blackman from his former club Macclesfield. (Daily Mirror)

Birmingham City have taken West Ham midfielder Nigel Quashie on trial with a view to a three-month loan deal. (Daily Mail)

Watford hope to ease their cash crisis by sending players out on loan - Crystal Palace want Jobi McAnuff, Coventry are keen on Mart Poom and Ipswich are chasing Damien Francis. (The Sun)

Manchester United and Chelsea are fighting to sign 16-year-old Danish defender Nicolai Boilsen from Brondby. (Daily Express)

Crystal Palace want Sheffield United striker Danny Webber on a three-month loan. (The Sun)

Ipswich are keen to bring Middlesbrough winger Adam Johnson to Portman Road on loan. (The Sun)

Inbound links ... we're on a roll!

Yeeeeeeeeesss! There are now more than 1,000 links (1,040) on google to http://www.makingthenews.co.uk

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

Huge night of international football and I'm taking on Mr Bookie with a flurry of bets.
I expect Scotland, England and Ireland to win and Wales and Northern Ireland to lose. Any 4 from 5, all up for £130.
Elsewhere, I'm tipping Germany, Holland, Turkey, Portugal and Bosnia to do the business. Again, any four from five - all up for 50 notes.
I'm a fan of the ht/ft bet and I'm sticking £1 on the Scotland, England and Ireland games having one team winning at half-time and the other winning at full-time, minimum odds 25/1.
I'll also be on John Terry (25/1), Stephen McManus (28/1), Gary Caldwell (40/1), Aiden McGeady (10/1) and Richard Dunne (40/1) first and last scorers in their respective games.
£30 invested - potential return of more than 400 notes.
Wish me luck.

Funny newspaper stories

Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ....

FELL INTO BED
A man of 39 slipped and fell 100ft from his flat balcony but survived after hitting dumped mattresses in Sopot, Poland.

FUN OF A PREACHER MAN
Preacher Mohammed Bello, 84, has vowed to wed more girls after he was told to divorce 82 of his 86 wives in Nigeria.

IT'S KIERA TIGHTLEY
Film star Keira Knightly earned £16million last year but she insists she won't fritter away the cash and instead puts it away for "a rainy day".

Newspaper front pages

Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..

Breaking News .. Newcastle sack Keegan

Newcastle United have sacked Kevin Keegan. It had been suggested earlier he quit over the lack of signings on deadline day but according to skysports he was dismissed.
Read the full story here

A real shame for Kevin. He stocks Benchmark Books titles at his Soccer Circus and it was always a pleasure to deal with him.

Paper talk

My football gift to you ... the morning after the night before, how today's newspapers move on following the deadline day transfers.

Everton manager David Moyes was turned down when he made a cheeky enquiry about taking Newcastle's former Liverpool striker Michael Owen back to Merseyside. (The Sun)

But the Toffees have agreed a record £12m deal for CSKA Moscow's Brazilian star Vagner Love - but he will not arrive until January as CSKA have demanded that the forward stays until the end of the Russian season. (Daily Mirror)

West Ham still want to sign Ghana skipper Steven Appiah, despite Monday's transfer deadline. The midfielder can move as a free agent from Turkish club Fenerbahce. (The Sun)

Plymouth boss Paul Sturrock wants to make Emile Mpenza the best-paid player in Argyle's history. The former Belgium striker can sign despite the closure of the transfer window because he is officially unemployed. (Daily Mirror)

Rangers rejected a deadline day approach from West Bromwich Albion for midfielder Kevin Thomson. (Daily Record)

Meanwhile, the Ibrox club are still hoping to offload striker Jean-Claude Darcheville and Brahim Hemdani even though the transfer window has closed. Rangers want to take advantage of the 'wild card' system in France's Ligue 1 which allows each club to register one player between September and December. (The Herald)

Kevin Keegan's future as Newcastle United manager was back in the balance after a summit with the club's hierarchy. (Daily Mail)

Sunderland boss Roy Keane, who has recruited nine players this summer, has admitted the influx of new faces into his club has to stop. (The Telegraph)

Rangers manager Walter Smith first found out about Daniel Cousin's move from Ibrox to Hull City on television. Smith and his assistant Ally McCoist were under the impression the absent Cousin was in fact with the Gabon national squad. (The Mirror)

Scoop6 and other dodgy bets

It's the Johnstone's Paint Trophy tonight and I'm going with my old colleague Mr Fixit's tips in today's Daily Record by going for home wins for Dagenham, Crewe, Leeds and Oldham at 6/1.

Read the rest of his tips here