Sunday 30 November 2008
Saturday 29 November 2008
Friday 28 November 2008
Scooped! - Official Partners of News of the World
Scooped! has teamed up with The News of the World - to produce special edition spoof front pages for their army of readers.
Britain's No1 company for personalised newspapers and magazines is now working with Britain's best-selling newspaper to give YOU the chance to appear on the front page of a spoof News of the World.
And with Scooped! you can create your very own News of the World front page in just 60 seconds.
A personalised News of the World newspaper front page is the perfect personalised gift for every occasion.
Celebrate the happy couple's wedding anniversary - by putting them on the front page of a spoof News of the World newspaper.
Celebrate a loved one's birthday - by putting them on the front page of a fake News of the World front page.
Or show the bride and groom how special their big day is - by putting them all over the front of a joke News of the World newspaper.
All we need is the person’s name, age, where they live and a picture (optional) and that’s it, you have made your friend or loved one a front page star.
All our personalised newspaper and magazine front page gifts are written and designed by real journalists.
As News of the World readers now know, it is always better to stick with the experts!
See http://www.makingthenews.co.uk/notw
Scooped! - Official Partners of The Sun
Scooped! has teamed up with The Sun - to produce special edition spoof front pages for their army of readers.
Britain's No1 company for personalised newspapers and magazines is now working with Britain's best-selling newspaper to give YOU the chance to appear on the front page of a spoof Sun front page.
And with Scooped! you can create your very own Sun front page in just 60 seconds.
A personalised Sun newspaper front page is the perfect personalised gift for every occasion.
Celebrate the happy couple's wedding anniversary - by putting them on the front page of a spoof Sun newspaper front page.
Celebrate a loved one's birthday - by putting them on the front page of a fake Sun front page.
Or show the bride and groom how special their big day is - by putting them all over the front of a joke Sun newspaper.
All we need is the person’s name, age, where they live and a picture (optional) and that’s it, you have made your friend or loved one a front page star.
All our personalised newspaper and magazine front page gifts are written and designed by real journalists.
As Sun readers now know, it is always better to stick with the experts!
See http://www.makingthenews.co.uk/thesun
Wednesday 26 November 2008
Wednesday 12 November 2008
Monday 10 November 2008
New Scooped! website
Scooped! Limited has launched its new website this week - and now you can create your own spoof newspaper front page in just 60 SECONDS.
Using the latest state-of-the-art technology, Scooped! customers can name a friend or loved one Christmas No1 or Mother/Father of the Year in the same time as it takes to make a cuppa.
The personalised newspaper and magazine gifts at Scooped! are second to none .. because they are all written and designed by real journalists.
Director James McIvor - a former Chief Sub-Editor at The Sun - said: "We have spent a lot of time getting our website just right and we are thrilled by how it looks and functions.
"Our customers now only need to provide very basic information like their name and age and upload a single image and their very own newspaper front page comes to life there and then.
"If they don't like that particular template they can click another and all their information transfers to that category.
"It couldn't be easier to use and it's great fun to see yourself on the front page of a joke newspaper."
The Scooped! teams hasn't just been working on their new website - they have also been developing their finished product and now offer their fake newspapers in three different styles - a single sheet, a newspaper 'wrap' or a framed page.
James, 32 - who has also worked for the Sunday Times, News of the World and Sunday Mail - added: "There has been a lot of trial and error but the finished article is now spot on. The page size is the exact dimensions of a tabloid newspaper and we used recycle paper to give that off-white newsprint feel to the page.
"We have created generic back pages for each of our newspaper titles and if a customer orders a newspaper wrap they can insert a newspaper inside so it looks and feels exactly like the real thing.
"If they put their spoof newspaper on the kitchen table for the recipient to find in the morning, they really will think they are starring on the front page of a newspaper."
For further information about Scooped! please visit http://www.makingthenews.co.uk email scooped@makingthenews.co.uk or telephone James McIvor on 0141 639 9918.
Friday 7 November 2008
Thursday 6 November 2008
Tuesday 4 November 2008
Monday 3 November 2008
Sunday 2 November 2008
Saturday 1 November 2008
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ...
LITTLE PLUGGERS
Teachers have been told to use earplugs by health and safety chiefs because pupils are so noisy in Ravenna, Italy.
ICE WITH THAT?
Titanic bandleader Wallace Hartley has had a pub named after him in Colne, Lancs - even though he was teetotal.
LUCKY BREAK
Photographer Gianni Fasolini is doing a roaring trade shooting wedding-style albums of couples' DIVORCES in Valeggio sul Mincio, Italy.
LITTLE PLUGGERS
Teachers have been told to use earplugs by health and safety chiefs because pupils are so noisy in Ravenna, Italy.
ICE WITH THAT?
Titanic bandleader Wallace Hartley has had a pub named after him in Colne, Lancs - even though he was teetotal.
LUCKY BREAK
Photographer Gianni Fasolini is doing a roaring trade shooting wedding-style albums of couples' DIVORCES in Valeggio sul Mincio, Italy.
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
Don't want to tempt but I'm on something of a roll - 3 coupons up in a row so I go into today's fixtures in confident mood.
So confident in fact that I'm sticking on a double, a treble a 4-fold and a 5-fold.
Surely I'll get something back from that lot.
In the luncthime kick offs I'm backing Everton and Southend at 5/2.
Treble is Pompey, Motherwell and Dundee United.
4-fold is Scunny, Chesterfield, Dumbarton, Raith - any 3 from 4
5-fold is Oldham, Peterboro, Swansea, Leeds, Darlington - any 4 from 5.
Total stake: £20
Potential winnings: £165
What you on then?
So confident in fact that I'm sticking on a double, a treble a 4-fold and a 5-fold.
Surely I'll get something back from that lot.
In the luncthime kick offs I'm backing Everton and Southend at 5/2.
Treble is Pompey, Motherwell and Dundee United.
4-fold is Scunny, Chesterfield, Dumbarton, Raith - any 3 from 4
5-fold is Oldham, Peterboro, Swansea, Leeds, Darlington - any 4 from 5.
Total stake: £20
Potential winnings: £165
What you on then?
Monday 27 October 2008
Newspaper front pages
Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..
Saturday 25 October 2008
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
I got a UEFA Cup treble up (Villa, Zagreb and Milan) midweek so got a few bob to play with today
Stuck a cheeky £2 single on Hamilton at 9/1.
Lunchtime treble on ManU, Sunderland and Rangers at 4/1
Main line is Leicester, Sheff Utd, Brum, MK Dons and Norwich. Any 4 from 5.
Scottish line is Dundee Utd, Brechin, Livi and East Fife
Wish me luck ...
Stuck a cheeky £2 single on Hamilton at 9/1.
Lunchtime treble on ManU, Sunderland and Rangers at 4/1
Main line is Leicester, Sheff Utd, Brum, MK Dons and Norwich. Any 4 from 5.
Scottish line is Dundee Utd, Brechin, Livi and East Fife
Wish me luck ...
Saturday 18 October 2008
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
It's Saturday so as usual I'll be giving Mr Bookie some of my hard earned money with little prospect of a return.
In the early and evening kick offs I've got fiver on Celtic, Chelsea, Palace and Man U 4/1 for £25.
Two lines in the afternoon - fiver on Blackburn, Reading, MK Dons and Rotherham. Any 3 from 4, all up for £73.
Fiver on Brighton, Southend, Stenhousemuir and Scunthorpe. Any 3 from 4, all up for £35.
I could really really really do with a morale-boosting win today so wish me luck.
In the early and evening kick offs I've got fiver on Celtic, Chelsea, Palace and Man U 4/1 for £25.
Two lines in the afternoon - fiver on Blackburn, Reading, MK Dons and Rotherham. Any 3 from 4, all up for £73.
Fiver on Brighton, Southend, Stenhousemuir and Scunthorpe. Any 3 from 4, all up for £35.
I could really really really do with a morale-boosting win today so wish me luck.
Thursday 16 October 2008
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ....
PARKING MAD
Angry driver Susan Catcheside, 74, paid a £35 parking fine in PENNIES after getting a ticket during a hospital visit in Gloucester.
STUDENTS STIRRED
A college ban on sugar in tea was lifted after sixth-formers protested in Tonypandy, South Wales.
MUM'S THE WORLD
Wales footie fan Gwilym Rees, 49, of Cardiff, missed the coach to last night's World Cup game in Germany — so mum-in-law Irene Tidball drove him all the way.
PARKING MAD
Angry driver Susan Catcheside, 74, paid a £35 parking fine in PENNIES after getting a ticket during a hospital visit in Gloucester.
STUDENTS STIRRED
A college ban on sugar in tea was lifted after sixth-formers protested in Tonypandy, South Wales.
MUM'S THE WORLD
Wales footie fan Gwilym Rees, 49, of Cardiff, missed the coach to last night's World Cup game in Germany — so mum-in-law Irene Tidball drove him all the way.
Saturday 11 October 2008
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
A big day of international football - but little value for the punters.
I'm going for a Scotland/Slovenia double at 7/2.
I'm also on Gary Caldwell first and last scorer at 33/1 (though Darren Fletcher catches the eye at 14/1) and doing both teams to be winning at half-time but to lose at full-time. 28/1 and 25/1 respectively.
Domestic 4-fold on Leeds, Scunthorpe, Wycomne and Shewsbury at 6/1
I'm going for a Scotland/Slovenia double at 7/2.
I'm also on Gary Caldwell first and last scorer at 33/1 (though Darren Fletcher catches the eye at 14/1) and doing both teams to be winning at half-time but to lose at full-time. 28/1 and 25/1 respectively.
Domestic 4-fold on Leeds, Scunthorpe, Wycomne and Shewsbury at 6/1
Friday 10 October 2008
Funny newspaper story
Subs and writers on the Sunday Express were sent this strongly-worded email from a senior staff member pointing out mistakes in an edition of the paper ...
"Last week's Sunday Express was riddled with appalling, slapdash and lazy writing and subbing. The style sheets handed out were studiously ignored, as can be seen by the list attached to this e-mail.
There were also two errors so horrendous they moved one reader to email Martin Townsend to point them out.
The kind of bilge submitted last week will not be tolerated any more. The rest of this email is a list of the drivel that made it into the paper but doesn't include the numerous dashes scattered liberally through copy, counties being abbreviated (Hants and Wilts were two that appeared), the headlines that were centred instead of set left, the ignorance about how the word 'but' should be used, the literal in one of the phoneline questions and the inability to grasp the simple idea that companies, organisations and political parties are referred to in the singular. My apologies to anyone who wasn't in last week but look on it as a reminder of how not to do it.
So here we go:
P2 – The lead begins with a name but the surname is not capped up. The stupid phrase 'ahead of' appears three times in the copy. We are then told 'fewer than one in five voters were happy with Brown's premiership'. That means none. The GCSEs story said 'almost six in 10 pupils'. So is that five or four? Voters and pupils don't come in fractions.
P3 – Why wasn't there a drop cap start to the story? Those weekly paper staples 'local residents' and a 'local fan' put in an appearance.
P4 – The splash turn says Maddie was kidnapped. Really? I thought nobody knew what happened to her.
P5 – Someone is described as an 'ex-pat'. At the very least that's amateurish. Look, let's make it really simple; if you don't know what a word means or how it's spelt, don't f***ing use it.
P6 – The caption says 'rail-soaked' instead of rain-soaked.
P9 – The conflict in Georgia provides us with some classic bollocks. What is a 'battle tank'? Does this mean wars now have referees who decide whether or not a tank is allowed to go into battle?
Are all other tanks to be described as big metal cars for soldiers with a decorative gun on top? Also, what is a 'ground invasion'? Is that the one that comes after a sky invasion?
P11 – Copy refers to 'heroine addict Boyd'. Disgraceful. This is one of the errors pointed out to the editor. There's also a reference to the LAPD. Not acceptable; do not assume everyone knows what it means.
P12 – The feature about Princess Margaret's party paradise of Mustique says the island 'floats in a blue-green ocean'. No island, not even a super-duper one like Mustique, floats.
There are then two examples of that patronising phrase 'of course': 'Colin Tennant knew, of course, that…' and 'The world's press, of course….' Read the bloody stylebook and what it says about 'of course'. Finally, did we really need to tell readers twice that Margaret was the Queen's sister?
P14 – The Focus starts with a name but again the surname is not capped up while the word taking the second drop cap is all lower case. Ahead of appears again and what the hell is an 'empty dwelling management order' when it's around?P16-17 – The lead intro talks about the murder of a 'newlywed English couple in Antigua'. Since when has South Wales been in England? To make matters worse, the third par says the husband was flown home to Wales! For f***'s sake!
P18 – The Fergie and Andy story says they're in the Scottish Highlands, probably to make clear they're not in the English, Welsh or Lithuanian bloody Highlands.
P21 – The comment standfirst has the nonexistent word 'parenting' and 'spokesperson' in it. It names the piece's author as a bloke and then calls HIM a spokesperson. Utter sh*te.
P22 – In the Ulrika Jonsson quote, what is a 'marrow fat pea'?
P23 – Virginia's lead talks about women working 'long hours in the office' and later tells us women are 'unhappy both in the office and in the home'. So, tough sh*t to the thousands of women who read our paper and don't work in an office.
P25 – Neil Hamilton says: 'In 1908, the last London Olympics' organising committee…' And there was me thinking the last one was the 1948 committee.
P30 – At the end of the Dando story there's a reference to a 'master assassin' being captured. Earlier we'd been told how he failed to kill someone with FIVE bullets. Not so masterful then.
P37 – The game poachers story talks about 'organised' gangs cashing in on the culinary revolution sparked by celebrity chefs. Does that mean all the disorganised gangs are kicking themselves about their lack of a formal hierarchy then?
P38 – 'Instalment' is spelt wrong.
P40-41 – 'Leading British male Tim Don.' NO, in the Sunday Express they're men or women.
P45 – Wellbeing is NOT hyphenated. What does 'confronted one of the them' mean? There is then a reference to Pope's Tower, where 'Alexander Pope lived and worked for two years'. Oh come on, you must know; that 17th-century poet who everyone is talking about in the pub.
P46 – The standfirst says: 'When a teenage concert hall worker snapped pictures of visiting bands, he had no idea that, 40 years on, his dusty collection would provide a valuable insight into Britain's musical golden age…' No sh*t, Sherlock. That will be because, like the rest of us, he couldn't tell the sodding future.
The copy mentions 'Britain's then vibrant live music scene'. Was that just after Britain's vibrant dead music scene then? Once again an idiotic use of the word live. There is mention of a picture showing the Beatles and Billy J Kramer having a laugh with Susan Maughan yet the picture on the page purports to show the Beatles and Billy J Kramer having a laugh with Elkie Brookes.
P48 – The foreign lead has reopened and re-opened in the space of six pars. It's NOT hyphenated. The copy says Rockefeller's Chichester alias is connected to a double murder in Los Angeles, then says it's his Cross alias and then goes back to his Chichester alias.
P49 – The Putin caption has the last word missing.
P54 – There is a reference to a 'stay-at-home mum'. No, it's mother. The copy constantly switches between calling the author by her first name and surname. The main caption names five people but there are six people in the picture.
P58 – In the Eric Idle spread 'of course' rears its useless head yet again. What is this paragraph on about then: "There's even a Bob Dylan-like character complete with guitar, harmonica and dark glasses who Idle plays himself. He comes in to help Brian talk about individuals," Idle explains. Eh?P60 – Rehash is not hyphenated but it is in this copy. Later on we have '…which may tie-in nicely with…' That doesn't need a hyphen.
P61 – Opera copy says 'around 30…' No, it's ABOUT 30.
P69 – Copy refers to Liam Finn's dad and Natt Weller's dad but SX style is father. Abigail Hopkins is then quoted thus: "I didn't have tonnes and tonnes of money." Do we know for a fact this woman talks in metric measurements then? F***ing ridiculous.
P83 – The blurb for P86 refers to 'an historical tour'. No, that would be a historical tour.
P84 – Neil Hamilton writes: 'See Venice and die, the saying goes.' Er, no it f***ing doesn't, as our angry reader was quick to tell the editor.
Stop writing this drivel and subs, stop letting it through."
"Last week's Sunday Express was riddled with appalling, slapdash and lazy writing and subbing. The style sheets handed out were studiously ignored, as can be seen by the list attached to this e-mail.
There were also two errors so horrendous they moved one reader to email Martin Townsend to point them out.
The kind of bilge submitted last week will not be tolerated any more. The rest of this email is a list of the drivel that made it into the paper but doesn't include the numerous dashes scattered liberally through copy, counties being abbreviated (Hants and Wilts were two that appeared), the headlines that were centred instead of set left, the ignorance about how the word 'but' should be used, the literal in one of the phoneline questions and the inability to grasp the simple idea that companies, organisations and political parties are referred to in the singular. My apologies to anyone who wasn't in last week but look on it as a reminder of how not to do it.
So here we go:
P2 – The lead begins with a name but the surname is not capped up. The stupid phrase 'ahead of' appears three times in the copy. We are then told 'fewer than one in five voters were happy with Brown's premiership'. That means none. The GCSEs story said 'almost six in 10 pupils'. So is that five or four? Voters and pupils don't come in fractions.
P3 – Why wasn't there a drop cap start to the story? Those weekly paper staples 'local residents' and a 'local fan' put in an appearance.
P4 – The splash turn says Maddie was kidnapped. Really? I thought nobody knew what happened to her.
P5 – Someone is described as an 'ex-pat'. At the very least that's amateurish. Look, let's make it really simple; if you don't know what a word means or how it's spelt, don't f***ing use it.
P6 – The caption says 'rail-soaked' instead of rain-soaked.
P9 – The conflict in Georgia provides us with some classic bollocks. What is a 'battle tank'? Does this mean wars now have referees who decide whether or not a tank is allowed to go into battle?
Are all other tanks to be described as big metal cars for soldiers with a decorative gun on top? Also, what is a 'ground invasion'? Is that the one that comes after a sky invasion?
P11 – Copy refers to 'heroine addict Boyd'. Disgraceful. This is one of the errors pointed out to the editor. There's also a reference to the LAPD. Not acceptable; do not assume everyone knows what it means.
P12 – The feature about Princess Margaret's party paradise of Mustique says the island 'floats in a blue-green ocean'. No island, not even a super-duper one like Mustique, floats.
There are then two examples of that patronising phrase 'of course': 'Colin Tennant knew, of course, that…' and 'The world's press, of course….' Read the bloody stylebook and what it says about 'of course'. Finally, did we really need to tell readers twice that Margaret was the Queen's sister?
P14 – The Focus starts with a name but again the surname is not capped up while the word taking the second drop cap is all lower case. Ahead of appears again and what the hell is an 'empty dwelling management order' when it's around?P16-17 – The lead intro talks about the murder of a 'newlywed English couple in Antigua'. Since when has South Wales been in England? To make matters worse, the third par says the husband was flown home to Wales! For f***'s sake!
P18 – The Fergie and Andy story says they're in the Scottish Highlands, probably to make clear they're not in the English, Welsh or Lithuanian bloody Highlands.
P21 – The comment standfirst has the nonexistent word 'parenting' and 'spokesperson' in it. It names the piece's author as a bloke and then calls HIM a spokesperson. Utter sh*te.
P22 – In the Ulrika Jonsson quote, what is a 'marrow fat pea'?
P23 – Virginia's lead talks about women working 'long hours in the office' and later tells us women are 'unhappy both in the office and in the home'. So, tough sh*t to the thousands of women who read our paper and don't work in an office.
P25 – Neil Hamilton says: 'In 1908, the last London Olympics' organising committee…' And there was me thinking the last one was the 1948 committee.
P30 – At the end of the Dando story there's a reference to a 'master assassin' being captured. Earlier we'd been told how he failed to kill someone with FIVE bullets. Not so masterful then.
P37 – The game poachers story talks about 'organised' gangs cashing in on the culinary revolution sparked by celebrity chefs. Does that mean all the disorganised gangs are kicking themselves about their lack of a formal hierarchy then?
P38 – 'Instalment' is spelt wrong.
P40-41 – 'Leading British male Tim Don.' NO, in the Sunday Express they're men or women.
P45 – Wellbeing is NOT hyphenated. What does 'confronted one of the them' mean? There is then a reference to Pope's Tower, where 'Alexander Pope lived and worked for two years'. Oh come on, you must know; that 17th-century poet who everyone is talking about in the pub.
P46 – The standfirst says: 'When a teenage concert hall worker snapped pictures of visiting bands, he had no idea that, 40 years on, his dusty collection would provide a valuable insight into Britain's musical golden age…' No sh*t, Sherlock. That will be because, like the rest of us, he couldn't tell the sodding future.
The copy mentions 'Britain's then vibrant live music scene'. Was that just after Britain's vibrant dead music scene then? Once again an idiotic use of the word live. There is mention of a picture showing the Beatles and Billy J Kramer having a laugh with Susan Maughan yet the picture on the page purports to show the Beatles and Billy J Kramer having a laugh with Elkie Brookes.
P48 – The foreign lead has reopened and re-opened in the space of six pars. It's NOT hyphenated. The copy says Rockefeller's Chichester alias is connected to a double murder in Los Angeles, then says it's his Cross alias and then goes back to his Chichester alias.
P49 – The Putin caption has the last word missing.
P54 – There is a reference to a 'stay-at-home mum'. No, it's mother. The copy constantly switches between calling the author by her first name and surname. The main caption names five people but there are six people in the picture.
P58 – In the Eric Idle spread 'of course' rears its useless head yet again. What is this paragraph on about then: "There's even a Bob Dylan-like character complete with guitar, harmonica and dark glasses who Idle plays himself. He comes in to help Brian talk about individuals," Idle explains. Eh?P60 – Rehash is not hyphenated but it is in this copy. Later on we have '…which may tie-in nicely with…' That doesn't need a hyphen.
P61 – Opera copy says 'around 30…' No, it's ABOUT 30.
P69 – Copy refers to Liam Finn's dad and Natt Weller's dad but SX style is father. Abigail Hopkins is then quoted thus: "I didn't have tonnes and tonnes of money." Do we know for a fact this woman talks in metric measurements then? F***ing ridiculous.
P83 – The blurb for P86 refers to 'an historical tour'. No, that would be a historical tour.
P84 – Neil Hamilton writes: 'See Venice and die, the saying goes.' Er, no it f***ing doesn't, as our angry reader was quick to tell the editor.
Stop writing this drivel and subs, stop letting it through."
Friday 3 October 2008
Best press conference ever?
The following is an edited transcript of Newcastle interim manager Joe Kinnear's first official press conference yesterday.
It is truly incredible ..
JK Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror's north-east football writer]?
SB Me.
JK You're a cunt.
SB Thank you.
JK Which one is Hickman [Niall, football writer for the Express]? You are out of order. Absolutely fucking out of order. If you do it again, I am telling you you can fuck off and go to another ground. I will not come and stand for that fucking crap. No fucking way, lies. Fuck, you're saying I turned up and they [Newcastle's players] fucked off.
SB No Joe, have you read it, it doesn't actually say that. Have you read it?
JK I've fucking read it, I've read it.
SB It doesn't say that. Have you read it?
JK You are trying to fucking undermine my position already.
SB Have you read it, it doesn't say that. I knew you knew they were having a day off.
JK Fuck off. Fuck off. It's your last fucking chance.
SB You read the copy? It doesn't say that you didn't know.
JK What about the headline, you think that's a good headline?
SB I didn't write the headline, you read the copy.
JK You are negative bastards, the pair of you.
SB So if I get a new job next week would I take the first day off? No I wouldn't. If I get a new job should I call my boss and tell him I am taking the first day off?
JK It is none of your fucking business. What the fuck are you going to do? You ain't got the balls to be a fucking manager. Fucking day off. Do I want your opinion. Do I have to listen to you?
SB No, you can listen to who you want.
JK I had a 24-hour meeting with the entire staff.
SB Joe, you are only here six weeks, you could have done that on Sunday, or Saturday night.
JK No, no, no. I didn't want to do it. I had some other things to do.
SB What? More important things?
JK What are you? My personal secretary? Fuck off.
SB You could have done the meeting Saturday night or Sunday. You could have had them watching videos, you could have organised them.
JK I was meeting the fucking chairman the owner, everyone else. Talking about things.
SB It is a valid point that was made in there. A valid point.
JK I can't trust any of you.
Niall Hickman Joe, no one could believe that on your first day at your new club, the first-team players were not in. No one could believe it in town. Your first day in the office.
JK My first day was with the coaches. I made the decision that I wanted to get as much information out of them.
NH But why Monday, no one could believe it?
JK I'm not going to tell you anything. I don't understand where you are coming from. You are delighted that Newcastle are getting beat and are in the state they are? Delighted, are you?
NH Certainly not. No one wants to see them get beaten, why would we?
JK I have done it before. It is going to my fucking lawyers. So are about three others. If they can find something in it that is a court case it is going to court. I am not fucking about. I don't talk to fucking anybody. It is raking up stories. You are fucking so fucking slimy you are raking up players that I got rid of. Players that I had fallen out with. You are not asking Robbie Earle, because he is sensible. You are not asking Warren Barton? No. Because he is fucking sensible. Anyone who had played for me for 10 years at any level ... [but] you will find some cunt that ...
Other journalist How long is your contract for Joe?
JK None of your business.
SB Well it is actually, because we cover the club. The club say you are here to the end of October, then you say six to eight games which would take it to the end of November. We are trying to clarify these issues. We are getting no straight answers from anyone. How long are you here for. It is a dead simple question. And you don't know ...
JK I was told the length of contract. Then I was told that possibly the club could be sold in that time. That is as far as I know. That's it finished. I don't know anything else. But I have been ridiculed. He's trying to fucking hide, he's trying to do this or that.
There follows an exchange regarding the circumstances under which Kinnear had met the owner Mike Ashley and executive director (football) Dennis Wise.
Steve Brenner (football writer for the Sun) We are all grown men and can come in here and sit around and talk about football, but coming in here and calling people cunts?
JK Why? Because I am annoyed. I am not accepting that. If it is libellous, it is going to where I want it to go.
Newcastle press officer What has been said in here is off the record and doesn't go outside.
Journalist Well, is that what Joe thinks?
JK Write what you like. Makes no difference to me. Don't affect me I assure you. It'll be the last time I see you anyway. Won't affect me. See how we go at Everton and Chrissy [Chris Hughton, assistant manager] can do it, someone else can do it. Don't trust any of yous. I will pick two local papers and speak to them and the rest can fuck off. I ain't coming up here to have the piss taken out of me. I have a million pages of crap that has been written about me. I'm ridiculed for no reason. I'm defenceless. I can't get a point in, I can't say nothing, I can't do nothing, but I ain't going to be negative. Then, half of you, most of you are trying to get into the players. I'm not going to tell you what the players think of you, so then you try and get into them in some way or another, so I've got a split camp or something like that, something like that. It's ongoing. It just doesn't stop.
Journalist It's only been a week.
JK Exactly. It feels more like a year.
Journalist It's early days for you to be like this.
JK No, I'm clearing the air. And this is the last time I'm going to speak to you. You want to know why, I'm telling you. This is the last time. You can do what you like.
Journalist But this isn't going to do you or us any good.
JK I'll speak to the supporters. I'm going to tell them what the story is. I'm going to tell them. I don't think they'll interpret it any different, I don't think they'll mix it up, I don't think they'll miss out things. I mean, one of them last week said to me ... I was talking about in that press conference where you were there, I said something like "Well, that's a load of bollocks ..."
Journalist "Bollocks to that" is what you said.
JK Bollocks to that. And what goes after that?
Journalist That was it.
JK No it wasn't, no it wasn't. What was after it? I don't know if it was your paper, but what went after it?
Journalist I don't know.
JK It even had the cheek to say "bollocks to Newcastle".
Journalist I didn't write that.
JK That was my first fucking day. What does that tell you? What does that tell you?
Journalist Where was that? Which paper said that?
JK I've got it. I can't remember. It was one of the Sundays, not a Saturday. It was a Sunday.
Journalist But you didn't say that to the Sundays, you said that to us. That was during the Monday press conference.
JK I'll bring it in and show it to you. Why would I want to say that?
Journalist Are you saying that someone has reported you saying "bollocks to Newcastle?"
JK Yes. Lovely.
Journalist I don't know who's reported that.
JK I'll tell you what, I'll bring it in.
Journalist That's obviously going to damage you. That's not a good thing. But I don't think someone's done that. We have to have some sort of relationship with you.
JK So have I. But I haven't come in here for you lot to take the piss out of me. And if I'm not flavour of the month for you, it don't fucking bother me. I've got a job to do. And I'm going to do it to the best of my ability. I'm not going to spend any more time listening to any crap or reading any crap. Stick to the truth and the facts. And don't twist anything.
Journalist You know, you know the game ...
JK Of course I know, but I don't have to like it.
Journalist Today we'll print the absolute truth, that you think we're cunts, we can all fuck off and we're slimy. Is that fair enough?
JK Do it. Fine. Fucking print it. Am I going to worry about it? Put in also that it'll be the last time I see you. Put that in as well. Good. Do it.
Much, much later after long discussions over whether Kinnear had promised Alan Shearer and Kevin Keegan would be returning to the club
Press officer Let's get on to football. Let's have an agreement that everything said so far, if anyone has got their tapes on, it's wiped off and we're not discussing it.
Journalist But that's what Joe has said he thinks of us.
Press officer I'm saying don't push it. Let's accept what's been said and try and move on.
Journalist: Move on to not doing any more press conferences?
PO: No, to doing something now.
Journalist: What, one press conference only?
(Silence)
Journalist: Any knocks?
PO: Come on, let's go football.
Journalist: What are your plans for training in the next three days? How's the training going?
JK It's going very well. No problems at all.
Journalist Enjoyed getting back in the swing of things?
JK Absolutely. I've loved every moment of it.
Courtesy of mediaguardianThursday 2 October 2008
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ....
UP FOR THE CUP
British women's boobs have jumped a cup size in just five year — from an average 34C to 36D, a Debenhams study has revealed.
OF COURSE I'M RIGHT
People fed up always losing arguments can take a free course on how to triumph in verbal battles this Saturday at the University of Kent in Canterbury.
HAUL OVER AGAIN
Cops are hunting two different robbers who raided the same bank within three hours at La Mesa, California.
VICE LITTLE EARNER
Prostitutes who don't get in trouble with police are rewarded with clothes or make-up vouchers in Eindhoven, Netherlands.
UP FOR THE CUP
British women's boobs have jumped a cup size in just five year — from an average 34C to 36D, a Debenhams study has revealed.
OF COURSE I'M RIGHT
People fed up always losing arguments can take a free course on how to triumph in verbal battles this Saturday at the University of Kent in Canterbury.
HAUL OVER AGAIN
Cops are hunting two different robbers who raided the same bank within three hours at La Mesa, California.
VICE LITTLE EARNER
Prostitutes who don't get in trouble with police are rewarded with clothes or make-up vouchers in Eindhoven, Netherlands.
Newspaper front pages
Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..
Paper talk
My football gift to you - the best of the football rumours from today's newspapers ..
Aston Villa boss Martin O'Neill will allow Marlon Harewood to leave the club as part of a £10m deal to land Reading striker Kevin Doyle. (Daily Mirror)
Michael Owen, out of contract next summer, has put talks over a new deal on hold with crisis-hit Newcastle until the end of the season. (Daily Mirror)
Manchester United are trailing £5m-rated Turkish striker Sercan Yildirim, 18, of Bursaspor. (Various)
Sunderland boss Roy Keane is keeping tabs on Tottenham midfielder Jermaine Jenas. (Daily Mirror)
Diego Tristan hopes to be offered a short-term deal with West Ham when his trial ends on Saturday. (The Times)
Brian Howard has warned Barnsley he will go on strike unless he is allowed to join Sheffield United. (Daily Mail)
Newcastle may offer full-back Stephen Carr a short-term deal to solve their defensive problems. (Various)
Plymouth want to complete the loan signing of Crystal Palace midfielder Carl Fletcher, 28, before the end of the week. (Daily Star)
Australian outfit Melbourne Heat are hoping to make injured Newcastle striker Mark Viduka, 32, their marquee signing at the end of the season. (The Times)
Birmingham boss Alex McLeish has been promised £2m to sign Crystal Palace midfielder Ben Watson in the January transfer window. (Various)
Nottingham Forest are poised to offer deals to Arsenal academy graduates James Dunne, 19, Paul Rodgers, 19 and Abu Ogogo, 18. (Daily Star)
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
Inter cost me a few quid on Sunday but collapsing 'away' to Milan. And they were at it again last night, surrendering a 1-0 lead to draw 1-1 with Bremen and in the process nackering my Champions League treble.
All means I could do with a morale-boosting win today.
So I'm doing two lines in the Uefa Cup, early kick offs and evening kick offs.
First up, I'm on Spartak Moscow, Hamburg, Santander and Rosenborg for £40.
Then it's St Etienne, Motherwell, FC Twente and Milan - any 3 from 4, all up for 55 notes.
Wish me luck (I need it)
All means I could do with a morale-boosting win today.
So I'm doing two lines in the Uefa Cup, early kick offs and evening kick offs.
First up, I'm on Spartak Moscow, Hamburg, Santander and Rosenborg for £40.
Then it's St Etienne, Motherwell, FC Twente and Milan - any 3 from 4, all up for 55 notes.
Wish me luck (I need it)
Tuesday 30 September 2008
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ....
GET IT DOWN!
Locals will fight plans to demolish The Full Monty film strip venue — Shiregreen working men's club in Sheffield.
SKY-TIGHT
An 82-year-old man was rescued by firemen after he got trapped in a skylight as he checked his chimney in Takeley, Essex.
BUY BUY EVERYBODY
TV's original Sooty puppet, bought by Harry Corbett at a seaside stall in 1948, is set to fetch £300 at auction in Derby.
GET IT DOWN!
Locals will fight plans to demolish The Full Monty film strip venue — Shiregreen working men's club in Sheffield.
SKY-TIGHT
An 82-year-old man was rescued by firemen after he got trapped in a skylight as he checked his chimney in Takeley, Essex.
BUY BUY EVERYBODY
TV's original Sooty puppet, bought by Harry Corbett at a seaside stall in 1948, is set to fetch £300 at auction in Derby.
Newspaper front pages
Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..
Paper talk
My football gift to you - the best of the football rumours from today's newspapers ..
West Ham boss Gianfranco Zola has given a trial to former Deportivo striker Diego Tristan, a free agent after leaving Italian club Livorno. (Various)
Everton will make another move for Spurs midfielder Tom Huddlestone in the January transfer window. (The Sun)
Chelsea have signed 12-year-old French schoolboy Jeremy Boga - dubbed "the new Zinedine Zidane". After weeks of talks with the boy's parents, Chelsea have reached an agreement for the midfield prodigy to join them when he turns 16. (The Sun)
Middlesbrough have stepped up their effort to sign Belgium midfielder Steven Defour, 20, who captained Standard Liege to last season's title and was Belgian Footballer of the Year. (Daily Star)
Birmingham and Sheffield United are fighting it out for the signature of Spurs midfielder Hossam Ghaly. (Daily Mirror)
Fulham boss Roy Hodgson has told QPR to stump up £1.7m if they want to make winger Lee Cook's loan move permanent. (Daily Star)
Everton are the latest Premier League club to be the target of a multi-million-pound takeover by Indian tycoon Anil Ambani, the sixth richest man in the world. (Daily Mirror)
Former Spurs boss Terry Venables has blamed former striker Dimitar Berbatov for Tottenham's disastrous start to the season. (The Sun)
Tottenham boss Juande Ramos has just four games to save his job after Spurs - who have two points from six games - made their worst start to a season in 53 years. (The Sun)
Joe Kinnear started work as Newcastle manager on Monday but his first-team squad were given the day off - even though the former Wimbledon boss had said he intended to drag everyone in and make them watch the DVD of Saturday's 2-1 loss to Blackburn. (Various)
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
It has been an interesting few days for the Editor. I've had three coupons in a row all up going into the final match - and each time I have lost.
Arsenal (5/1 on) losing to Hull was a shocker, Man City losing at Wigan was unexpected and Inter at Milan was always going to be tight.
Fortunately I permed all three lines so still doubled my money. Plus I also got a Spanish treble of Real, Villareal and Barcelona up on Saturday night so not doing too badly at all.
Tonight, I think Lyon are the bet of the night at 7/2 to beat struggling Bayern. Fenerbache and Fiorentina should also do the business.
In the Championship I'm on both Sheffield teams plus Ipswich and QPR.
Good luck everyone.
Arsenal (5/1 on) losing to Hull was a shocker, Man City losing at Wigan was unexpected and Inter at Milan was always going to be tight.
Fortunately I permed all three lines so still doubled my money. Plus I also got a Spanish treble of Real, Villareal and Barcelona up on Saturday night so not doing too badly at all.
Tonight, I think Lyon are the bet of the night at 7/2 to beat struggling Bayern. Fenerbache and Fiorentina should also do the business.
In the Championship I'm on both Sheffield teams plus Ipswich and QPR.
Good luck everyone.
Saturday 27 September 2008
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
It's Saturday - and once again I'm squaring up to Mr Bookie.
In the early kick offs I'm going for Liverpool and Wolves and throwing them with Arsenal and Southampton. Any 3 from 4, all up for £50.
In the 3pm kick offs I'm on Villa, Boro, Plymouth, Leeds and Scunthorpe - anny 4 from 5, all up for £45.
I've also done a treble of QPR, MK Dons and Dunfermline for £30.
In the early kick offs I'm going for Liverpool and Wolves and throwing them with Arsenal and Southampton. Any 3 from 4, all up for £50.
In the 3pm kick offs I'm on Villa, Boro, Plymouth, Leeds and Scunthorpe - anny 4 from 5, all up for £45.
I've also done a treble of QPR, MK Dons and Dunfermline for £30.
Friday 26 September 2008
Newspaper front pages
Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..
Tuesday 23 September 2008
Wednesday 17 September 2008
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
It has been a great few days for The Editor. On Saturday I got a 4-fold of Brum, Wolves, Scunthorpe and Bradford all up.
On Sunday I got Everton, QPR double - and last night my treble of Liverpool, Inter and Schalke came up trumps.
Say hello to three in a row indeed!
Tonight I'm going for a Ipswich/QPR double at a tasty 7/1.
In the Champions League I'm on Lyon, Porto, Bayern and Arsenal at 10/1.
Wish me luck!
On Sunday I got Everton, QPR double - and last night my treble of Liverpool, Inter and Schalke came up trumps.
Say hello to three in a row indeed!
Tonight I'm going for a Ipswich/QPR double at a tasty 7/1.
In the Champions League I'm on Lyon, Porto, Bayern and Arsenal at 10/1.
Wish me luck!
Tuesday 16 September 2008
Newspaper front pages
Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..
Saturday 13 September 2008
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ....
BARE-BACK MOUNTAIN
Swiss police are cracking down on nude hikers in the Alps after a spate of men and women were spotted trekking through the mountains wearing just walking boots and a rucksack.
UP ON THE WOOF
Deaf arthritic Labrador Buster was rescued by firefighters after going walkies on a house ROOF in Boston, Lincs.
BABY VROOMER
Singer Anthony Riches, 32, delivered his 7lb 13oz son Kyle in the back of his car in Cornwall.
BARE-BACK MOUNTAIN
Swiss police are cracking down on nude hikers in the Alps after a spate of men and women were spotted trekking through the mountains wearing just walking boots and a rucksack.
UP ON THE WOOF
Deaf arthritic Labrador Buster was rescued by firefighters after going walkies on a house ROOF in Boston, Lincs.
BABY VROOMER
Singer Anthony Riches, 32, delivered his 7lb 13oz son Kyle in the back of his car in Cornwall.
Paper talk
My foootball gift to you - all the football transfer rumours from today's newspapers.
Newcastle owner Mike Ashley's bid to lure back Kevin Keegan ended in stalemate and talks look unlikely to be resurrected. (Various)
Blackburn manager Paul Ince has insisted he is "very happy" with his current job as speculation mounts he is a target to replace Keegan at Newcastle. (Various)
Tottenham's reserve team coach Clive Allen does not believe Gus Poyet will become the new manager at Newcastle because he is happy being Juande Ramos' assistant at White Hart Lane. (Press Association)
Chelsea boss Luiz Felipe Scolari says Roman Abamovich over-ruled the purchase of Robinho allowing the Brazilian to sign for Manchester City instead. (Daily Mirror)
Chelsea are poised to snatch Brazilian midfielder Mineiro from under Arsenal's noses to fill the void left by Michael Essien's long-term injury. (Daily Mirror)
Gunners boss Arsene Wenger has accused arch-rivals Tottenham of inflating the fees they got for Dimitar Berbatov and Robbie Keane. (Various)
Arsenal striker Robin Van Persie has told Manchester City their millions could never tempt him to move to Eastlands. (Sun)
Celtic boss Gordon Strachan last night called on club bosses to sort out a new deal for defender Gary Caldwell. (Express)
Newcastle owner Mike Ashley's bid to lure back Kevin Keegan ended in stalemate and talks look unlikely to be resurrected. (Various)
Blackburn manager Paul Ince has insisted he is "very happy" with his current job as speculation mounts he is a target to replace Keegan at Newcastle. (Various)
Tottenham's reserve team coach Clive Allen does not believe Gus Poyet will become the new manager at Newcastle because he is happy being Juande Ramos' assistant at White Hart Lane. (Press Association)
Chelsea boss Luiz Felipe Scolari says Roman Abamovich over-ruled the purchase of Robinho allowing the Brazilian to sign for Manchester City instead. (Daily Mirror)
Chelsea are poised to snatch Brazilian midfielder Mineiro from under Arsenal's noses to fill the void left by Michael Essien's long-term injury. (Daily Mirror)
Gunners boss Arsene Wenger has accused arch-rivals Tottenham of inflating the fees they got for Dimitar Berbatov and Robbie Keane. (Various)
Arsenal striker Robin Van Persie has told Manchester City their millions could never tempt him to move to Eastlands. (Sun)
Celtic boss Gordon Strachan last night called on club bosses to sort out a new deal for defender Gary Caldwell. (Express)
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
It's super duper Saturday and I could really do with putting one over Mr Bookie today after a few near misses.
In the lunchtime kick offs I'm going for Celtic, Leicester and Man U for £31.
In the afternoon I've got a fiver on Brum, Wolves, Scunthorpe and Bradford for £85 and a fiver on Arsenal, Inverness, Ayr and Queen of the South for £66. A (dream) £1 accy would pay a stonking £230.
In the evening kick offs I'm going Man City/Chelsea draw and Sheff Utd win for £44.
Wish me luck.
In the lunchtime kick offs I'm going for Celtic, Leicester and Man U for £31.
In the afternoon I've got a fiver on Brum, Wolves, Scunthorpe and Bradford for £85 and a fiver on Arsenal, Inverness, Ayr and Queen of the South for £66. A (dream) £1 accy would pay a stonking £230.
In the evening kick offs I'm going Man City/Chelsea draw and Sheff Utd win for £44.
Wish me luck.
Friday 12 September 2008
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ....
BLIND DRUNK
Blind experts from Peru who can recognise a beer by its smell have been hired by brewer SABMiller to taste test brands including Peroni, Miller and Cusquena.
STAG FRIGHT
A trapped stag was cut free by SSPCA staff and building workers after getting its antlers stuck in power cable support wires on Barvas moor, Lewis.
CHIP AND SIN
Natalie Zielinska, 27, did £2,000 of damage to a chippy after staff put too little curry sauce on her chips, Brighton JPs heard.
BLIND DRUNK
Blind experts from Peru who can recognise a beer by its smell have been hired by brewer SABMiller to taste test brands including Peroni, Miller and Cusquena.
STAG FRIGHT
A trapped stag was cut free by SSPCA staff and building workers after getting its antlers stuck in power cable support wires on Barvas moor, Lewis.
CHIP AND SIN
Natalie Zielinska, 27, did £2,000 of damage to a chippy after staff put too little curry sauce on her chips, Brighton JPs heard.
Newspaper front pages
Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..
Paper talk
My football gift to you .... the best of football transfer rumours from today's newspapers.
Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger has blasted Manchester City's new owners and told them he would not sell midfielder Cesc Fabregas, even for £135m. (The Sun)
Arsenal are being linked with Brazilian midfielder Mineiro, 33, who left Hertha Berlin this summer. (Daily Mail)
Wigan boss Steve Bruce admits he fears losing Emile Heskey for free when the England striker's contract ends next summer. (Various)
Birmingham will delay a decision on signing West Ham's Nigel Quashie on loan while they assess the midfielder's fitness. (Daily Mail)
Coventry are poised to snap up ex-Aston Villa and Reading defender Ulises de la Cruz, 34, on a short-term deal. (Various)
Leeds are set to give former Middlesbrough striker Malcolm Christie, 29, the chance to regain fitness by letting him use their training facilities. (Daily Star)
Birmingham will sign Tottenham outcast Kevin Prince-Boateng, 21, on loan. (Daily Mirror)
Thursday 11 September 2008
Wednesday 10 September 2008
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ....
GREED IS RUDE
A paramedic called Clive GREEDY is facing a disciplinary hearing over claims he stole a stick of celery from a patient and scoffed it in Newport, Isle of Wight.
VIPE YOUR FACE
A £60 pot of Planet Skincare anti-wrinkle face cream made with synthetic viper venom has become a best-seller.
MAC MY DAY
Peckish Don Gorske, 54, has eaten a Big Mac every day since 1972 - 23,000 burgers - in Fond Du Luac, Wisconsin, US.
GREED IS RUDE
A paramedic called Clive GREEDY is facing a disciplinary hearing over claims he stole a stick of celery from a patient and scoffed it in Newport, Isle of Wight.
VIPE YOUR FACE
A £60 pot of Planet Skincare anti-wrinkle face cream made with synthetic viper venom has become a best-seller.
MAC MY DAY
Peckish Don Gorske, 54, has eaten a Big Mac every day since 1972 - 23,000 burgers - in Fond Du Luac, Wisconsin, US.
Newspaper front pages
Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..
Paper talk
My football gift to you - the best of the football rumours from today's newspapers ..
Gianfranco Zola has confirmed that he has accepted an offer to become West Ham boss and the club will announce his appointment on Wednesday. (Various)
Tottenham's assistant coach Gus Poyet has ruled out any chance of him becoming Newcastle's new manager. (Various)
Robbie Fowler has missed out on a move to Norwegian champions Brann Bergen because of his excessive wage demands. (Daily Mirror)
Fowler now looks set to join Blackburn on a pay-as-you-play deal. (Daily Mail)
Or, the 33-year-old has already been offered a three-month deal by Rovers. (Daily Telegraph)
Blackburn boss Paul Ince hopes to sign young striker Nick Blackman from his former club Macclesfield. (Daily Mirror)
Birmingham City have taken West Ham midfielder Nigel Quashie on trial with a view to a three-month loan deal. (Daily Mail)
Watford hope to ease their cash crisis by sending players out on loan - Crystal Palace want Jobi McAnuff, Coventry are keen on Mart Poom and Ipswich are chasing Damien Francis. (The Sun)
Manchester United and Chelsea are fighting to sign 16-year-old Danish defender Nicolai Boilsen from Brondby. (Daily Express)
Crystal Palace want Sheffield United striker Danny Webber on a three-month loan. (The Sun)
Ipswich are keen to bring Middlesbrough winger Adam Johnson to Portman Road on loan. (The Sun)
Inbound links ... we're on a roll!
Yeeeeeeeeesss! There are now more than 1,000 links (1,040) on google to http://www.makingthenews.co.uk
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
Huge night of international football and I'm taking on Mr Bookie with a flurry of bets.
I expect Scotland, England and Ireland to win and Wales and Northern Ireland to lose. Any 4 from 5, all up for £130.
Elsewhere, I'm tipping Germany, Holland, Turkey, Portugal and Bosnia to do the business. Again, any four from five - all up for 50 notes.
I'm a fan of the ht/ft bet and I'm sticking £1 on the Scotland, England and Ireland games having one team winning at half-time and the other winning at full-time, minimum odds 25/1.
I'll also be on John Terry (25/1), Stephen McManus (28/1), Gary Caldwell (40/1), Aiden McGeady (10/1) and Richard Dunne (40/1) first and last scorers in their respective games.
£30 invested - potential return of more than 400 notes.
Wish me luck.
I expect Scotland, England and Ireland to win and Wales and Northern Ireland to lose. Any 4 from 5, all up for £130.
Elsewhere, I'm tipping Germany, Holland, Turkey, Portugal and Bosnia to do the business. Again, any four from five - all up for 50 notes.
I'm a fan of the ht/ft bet and I'm sticking £1 on the Scotland, England and Ireland games having one team winning at half-time and the other winning at full-time, minimum odds 25/1.
I'll also be on John Terry (25/1), Stephen McManus (28/1), Gary Caldwell (40/1), Aiden McGeady (10/1) and Richard Dunne (40/1) first and last scorers in their respective games.
£30 invested - potential return of more than 400 notes.
Wish me luck.
Tuesday 2 September 2008
Funny newspaper stories
Some funny newspaper stories from today's tabloids ....
FELL INTO BED
A man of 39 slipped and fell 100ft from his flat balcony but survived after hitting dumped mattresses in Sopot, Poland.
FUN OF A PREACHER MAN
Preacher Mohammed Bello, 84, has vowed to wed more girls after he was told to divorce 82 of his 86 wives in Nigeria.
IT'S KIERA TIGHTLEY
Film star Keira Knightly earned £16million last year but she insists she won't fritter away the cash and instead puts it away for "a rainy day".
FELL INTO BED
A man of 39 slipped and fell 100ft from his flat balcony but survived after hitting dumped mattresses in Sopot, Poland.
FUN OF A PREACHER MAN
Preacher Mohammed Bello, 84, has vowed to wed more girls after he was told to divorce 82 of his 86 wives in Nigeria.
IT'S KIERA TIGHTLEY
Film star Keira Knightly earned £16million last year but she insists she won't fritter away the cash and instead puts it away for "a rainy day".
Newspaper front pages
Too busy too read the papers? Don't worry The Editor brings you the best of what the papers have to offer each day. Here's what making the news today ..
Breaking News .. Newcastle sack Keegan
Newcastle United have sacked Kevin Keegan. It had been suggested earlier he quit over the lack of signings on deadline day but according to skysports he was dismissed.
Read the full story here
A real shame for Kevin. He stocks Benchmark Books titles at his Soccer Circus and it was always a pleasure to deal with him.
Paper talk
My football gift to you ... the morning after the night before, how today's newspapers move on following the deadline day transfers.
Everton manager David Moyes was turned down when he made a cheeky enquiry about taking Newcastle's former Liverpool striker Michael Owen back to Merseyside. (The Sun)
But the Toffees have agreed a record £12m deal for CSKA Moscow's Brazilian star Vagner Love - but he will not arrive until January as CSKA have demanded that the forward stays until the end of the Russian season. (Daily Mirror)
West Ham still want to sign Ghana skipper Steven Appiah, despite Monday's transfer deadline. The midfielder can move as a free agent from Turkish club Fenerbahce. (The Sun)
Plymouth boss Paul Sturrock wants to make Emile Mpenza the best-paid player in Argyle's history. The former Belgium striker can sign despite the closure of the transfer window because he is officially unemployed. (Daily Mirror)
Rangers rejected a deadline day approach from West Bromwich Albion for midfielder Kevin Thomson. (Daily Record)
Meanwhile, the Ibrox club are still hoping to offload striker Jean-Claude Darcheville and Brahim Hemdani even though the transfer window has closed. Rangers want to take advantage of the 'wild card' system in France's Ligue 1 which allows each club to register one player between September and December. (The Herald)
Kevin Keegan's future as Newcastle United manager was back in the balance after a summit with the club's hierarchy. (Daily Mail)
Sunderland boss Roy Keane, who has recruited nine players this summer, has admitted the influx of new faces into his club has to stop. (The Telegraph)
Rangers manager Walter Smith first found out about Daniel Cousin's move from Ibrox to Hull City on television. Smith and his assistant Ally McCoist were under the impression the absent Cousin was in fact with the Gabon national squad. (The Mirror)
Scoop6 and other dodgy bets
It's the Johnstone's Paint Trophy tonight and I'm going with my old colleague Mr Fixit's tips in today's Daily Record by going for home wins for Dagenham, Crewe, Leeds and Oldham at 6/1.
Read the rest of his tips here
Read the rest of his tips here
Thursday 28 August 2008
Scooped! Press Release
Scooped! has issued a press release via prlog.org to announce our competition in the News of the World.
Read the full press release here
Read the full press release here
Wednesday 27 August 2008
Scooped! case study on Small Business Tech
Scooped! is featured as a case study on the excellent smallbusinesstech blog today.
We explain what software and websites we currently use to help promote brand awareness and improve our product and what technology we intend to use in the near future.
Small Business Tech offers businesses advice which helps them save money, time and be more productive.
As smallbusinesstech rightly says too many businesses fail because they didn’t have the right tools, received bad advice, support and spent far too much money.
This blog helps small businesses get over these hurdles. Bookmark it now!.
Our case study can be read here
Scooped! featured on allmediascotland
The following article appears on allmediascotland, a website for people working in Scotland's media ..
Former Sub Scoops Second Front Page Spoof Deal
A former chief sub-editor at the Scottish Sun who now produces spoof newspaper front pages - for instance, as leaving and birthday gifts - has struck a reader deal with the Scottish News of the World.In a similar deal to one struck with the Scottish Sun earlier this year, James McIvor is offering Scottish News of the World readers the chance to win one of ten free spoof front pages, incorporating the paper’s masthead. Three styles are on offer by McIvor’s business, Scooped!, and the newspaper: birthday, wedding and leaving work.
And readers are also being given the chance to buy a spoof NOTW front page - for £25. Here.
Monday 25 August 2008
Spoof News of the World birthday gifts
Celebrate a loved one's birthday - by putting them on the front page of the News of the World.
A spoof News of the World front page is the perfect personalised birthday gift for that special birthday.
And not only that, we have special fake News of the World birthday front pages for boys and girls.
For a different and unusual birthday present, put your loved one on the front page of a joke News of the World.
Personalised newspaper and magazine gifts written and designed by real journalists.
Spoof News of the World wedding gift
Show the bride and groom how special their big day is - by putting them on the front page of the News of the World
A spoof wedding News of the World front page is the perfect personalised wedding gift for any bride and groom.
Give the new Mr and Mrs a special keepsake and mark their wedding day by putting them on the front of a funny News of the World.
A personalised News of the World front page is a truly special personalised wedding gift.
Personalised newspaper and magazine gifts by real journalists.
Spoof News of the World work leaving gift
Mark a colleague's departure from your workplace - by putting them on the front page of a spoof News of the World.
A personalised work leaving News of the World front page is the perfect way to show them you care and make them smile!
Our funny work leaving News of the World front pages are written and designed for boys and girls.
Personalised newspaper and magazine gifts written and designed by real journalists.
WIN your own News of the World front page
From yesterday's News of the World ...
EVER dreamed of starring on the front page of Scotland’s No1 Sunday newspaper?
Well now you can!
We've teamed up with our pals at Scooped! Limited – Britian’s No1 company for personalised newspaper and magazine gifts – to give you the chance to appear in a spoof edition of the Scottish News of the World
Ten lucky readers will win one of three different newspaper styles – a birthday, wedding or work leaving front page.
You can show the bride and groom how special their big day is — by putting them on the front page of The News of World.
Or our lucky winners can celebrate a loved one’s birthday or mark a colleague’s departure from their workplace by making it front page news.
We will even frame your special gift for you.
But don’t worry if you miss out this time – you can BUY your very own spoof News of the World front page from just £25 for a limited period only at www.makingthenews.co.uk/scottishnotw, by emailing scooped@makingthenews.co.uk or by phoning 0141 639 9918.
To be in with a chance of winning one of 10 framed front pages, all you have to do is select your newspaper style from the five pictures – the birthday and work leaving pages are designed for boys and girls — and tell us in no more than 100 words why the recipient(s) deserves to be on the front page of The News of the World. You must send (by post or email) at least one picture of the recipient(s) and provide details of their big day eg: Where the party is being held.
You can email your entries to scooped@makingthenews.co.uk or send by post to Scooped! Competition, Scottish News of the World, Promotions Dept, Guildhall, 57 Queen Street, Glasgow, G1 3EN. Closing date is Friday 29 August 2008.Ten lucky winners will each receive a framed Scottish News of the World front page. Usual News of the World rules apply. Editor’s decision is final.
Don’t miss this fantastic opportunity to star in Scotland’s favourite Sunday newspaper.
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